WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:16.480 This is Room in the Trees, a podcast about living a creative life. Room in the Trees is hosted by Sabrina Ward-Harrison and me, Trent Reynolds. 00:00:16.800 --> 00:00:24.000 Show notes including pictures, links, video, and more for every episode can be found at roominthetrees.com. 00:00:24.000 --> 00:00:35.800 If you like this podcast, please consider showing your support. You can become a subscribing patron at patreon.com forward slash room. Hi. Hi. 00:00:38.660 --> 00:00:39.420 Excitement. 00:00:40.600 --> 00:00:44.460 Thrilling. Thrilling euphoria. Hello. 00:00:45.220 --> 00:00:47.060 Hello. What do you want to share? 00:00:48.360 --> 00:01:04.100 Well, I woke up this morning. Have you ever had the experience where you wake up in the morning and you know that you're kind of sick? Like you got that deep, deep morning voice? Oh, yeah. And I hadn't even said anything yet. 00:01:04.920 --> 00:01:05.420 Yeah. 00:01:05.400 --> 00:01:21.900 And I just, what do you think was my first, I'm not sure if I know the right question asked, but what do you think was the first popular song of the 90s that came to my mind? 00:01:23.740 --> 00:01:30.000 I don't know why one would. Um, 00:01:30.000 --> 00:01:51.180 Oh my god! Throw back. 00:01:54.460 --> 00:01:55.480 Yep. 00:01:56.100 --> 00:02:00.400 who was that again yes ladies and gentlemen the crash test dummies 00:02:00.400 --> 00:02:10.960 god that sounds like you it does 00:02:10.960 --> 00:02:18.300 but i kind of love that deep you know when you kind of got a little bit of a cold they're like super deep morning 00:02:18.300 --> 00:02:31.700 voice yeah wouldn't it be nice what's that song about do you think uh i i'm not sure 00:02:31.700 --> 00:03:06.160 like the the overall message yeah it's it's about a boy who uh I can't remember now, but it's hard to bring up the words. Yeah, kind of a strange song. Kind of a little bit mysterious. I have no idea. I have no idea what that song is about. I'm kind of risky with going with a title like that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, the whole song is a little edgy. A little out of the ordinary. 00:03:06.160 --> 00:03:11.280 Like thinking, like, sort of like zero care. It's like, well, let's just call it... Yeah. 00:03:13.000 --> 00:03:16.280 What do you want to call this song, Bob? I don't know. 00:03:17.900 --> 00:03:19.500 Hmm. Hmm. 00:03:20.500 --> 00:03:21.000 Hmm. 00:03:20.900 --> 00:03:29.700 do it just write it down don't forget it m i want the word the song to be called 00:03:29.700 --> 00:03:37.080 god i miss the 90s 90s music was so great mm-hmm 00:03:37.080 --> 00:03:45.660 oh well i'm sorry you're sick 00:03:46.000 --> 00:04:31.400 Oh, it's not that bad. It's just one of those things where like I kind of somewhere in between, like it's not a full blown sick, but it's like, you know, it's kind of that way always with kids. It's like they're always bringing it bringing home something and you never quite know if you're well or if you've got some some bug. It turns out we got a little warning this week that the lice is going around the third grade. Oh, man. I don't remember ever being aware of lice that much. I guess in first grade, I remember parents coming in, like mothers coming into class and kind of giving everybody a look over. So there must have been somebody in that classroom with lice, but... 00:04:31.400 --> 00:04:38.640 I don't recall it either, but I sure have heard horror stories of friends who have to deal with getting it out of their kid's hair. 00:04:39.260 --> 00:04:42.500 Yeah. Ugh. Yeesh. Ugh. 00:04:43.720 --> 00:04:49.260 Did you have, no, was it you that had the lice, do you have a lice situation last year? 00:04:49.360 --> 00:05:02.300 We totally had a lice situation, yeah. I had never experienced it in my life, and then Liv got it. And she passed it around to everybody because I guess we were all using the same hairbrush. 00:05:04.360 --> 00:05:04.960 No. 00:05:05.580 --> 00:05:06.880 Yeah. Yeah. 00:05:08.080 --> 00:05:09.620 So how did you guys get it out? 00:05:10.160 --> 00:05:13.540 We have to do, it's a whole, whole process. 00:05:13.940 --> 00:05:15.700 But did Laura have to do everybody's hair? 00:05:16.420 --> 00:05:40.940 Well, she and I, yeah, between the two of us, we had to get everybody's hair. And I mean, with short hair like mine, super easy to take care of. You know, but the longer hair, it's difficult. And the combs that you have to use are super fine and they're metal prongs. So it's like it's really easy for the hair to get stuck in them and hurts. And it's. 00:05:41.960 --> 00:05:42.460 Yeah. 00:05:42.400 --> 00:06:00.480 It is a big bummer. And they lay eggs, so you have to... And the eggs are called... Are you aware of this? Nits. They're called what? Lice. Eggs are called nits. Nits. So you've heard the term nitpicking. 00:06:01.520 --> 00:06:02.200 Oh. 00:06:03.260 --> 00:06:03.940 Yes. 00:06:04.260 --> 00:06:04.760 Oh. 00:06:05.680 --> 00:06:20.720 It's true. It's true. That's where nitpicking comes from is a louse, lice lay eggs and they're called nits. So they lay eggs and you have to get all the eggs out in addition to the hatched and grown things. 00:06:20.960 --> 00:06:21.920 Oh my God. Yeah. 00:06:22.720 --> 00:06:42.980 And they look just like little, little, you know, tiny bits of dust. So it's not like, you know, they're, they kind of have a characteristic look about them, but it's kind of hard to. They have their own little personality that's kind of a trait. Yeah, they got a little flair. They're not just your normal piece of dust, little. left, if you will. 00:06:45.060 --> 00:06:51.760 Speaking of characteristics, I did, have you done 23andMe? 00:06:53.520 --> 00:06:59.080 Is that the DNA thing? Yeah. No, I've been wanting to do that. I just got 00:06:59.080 --> 00:07:06.320 my results back yesterday. It sure puts things into perspective about where you... 00:07:06.320 --> 00:07:09.900 laughter laughter 00:07:09.900 --> 00:07:15.340 Oh, I'm imagining it. Doesn't it tell you if you've got like Neanderthal blood in you and stuff like that? 00:07:15.480 --> 00:08:47.120 Yeah. It's just like – my saliva can say – can just know so much and that I come – like the – I think the part that really got me was just the, I wanted to read you something from, okay, so my maternal Hapaloe group is K1A3A1. As our ancestors ventured out of Eastern Africa, they branched off in diverse groups across and recrossed the globe over tens of thousands of years. Some of their migrations can be traced through happily of groups, families of lineages that descend from a common ancestor. Your maternal health group can reveal the path followed in the woman of your maternal line. Your maternal line stems from a branch of haploid, hapolo groups called K1A. K1 is the widespread hapolo group that traces back to a woman who lived nearly 20,000 years ago, right around the time of the last great peak of the Ice Age. As the Ice Age gradually loosened its grasp on the global climate in the next several millennia, K1... expanded into the Middle East. Women carrying the haplog group later spread into Europe as well with early waves of migration that carried farmers and their new agricultural lifestyle to the West during the Neolithic Revolution. It's just fascinating. So this happened 180 generations ago. 00:08:47.380 --> 00:08:50.500 Wow. It's so hard to wrap your mind around, huh? Yeah. 00:08:51.160 --> 00:09:10.820 That every... That got me... The person, human being that's sitting here today, that all these decisions and choices and left turns and right turns and this and that all are just this, it's just fascinating. It's fascinating. It's weird. It's great. Yeah. 00:09:12.280 --> 00:09:19.580 I imagine what that, like, what was her name, you think? Thank you. was it a sound or was it... 00:09:19.580 --> 00:09:20.080 Yeah. 00:09:20.420 --> 00:09:21.780 You know, maybe she had a... Yeah. 00:09:22.580 --> 00:09:23.720 I don't know. 00:09:24.100 --> 00:09:27.680 What was she wearing? What was she thinking about? 00:09:28.280 --> 00:12:40.300 She was definitely cute, though. Totally cute. Totally cute. Totally cute. She was super cute. So I wanted to share a little bit with listeners about something I've kept private the past year or so. But I want to just acknowledge it and share a little bit of what's transpiring now in my life romantically because I haven't really talked about what happened. So I was involved with somebody who I became engaged to about a year and a half ago. That relationship ended. There were things about it that... became clear that it was not the person, the relationship that was meant to be for my life. And, but it happened very suddenly. So last June, I decided to leave that relationship and I moved into a small little place here in Madison that was a little apartment upstairs in this big old house at 44 apartments in it but it was tiny it was like it was when I kept when I counted the square feet before I moved out it was four hundred and two square feet which is really, really small with low ceilings. But I felt so grateful to have a safe place for me and my pups and just peace and quiet and... So I lived there and I never had lived in such a small place before, but I was really, really grateful for the serenity I had there. So many of you have seen recent pictures of a place on the lake, which is where I've moved to now. So. the past year has felt like a has been an unbelievable year in my life as as many of you know I created untether and liberate and so untether was created that course was created as I was going through that the end of that relationship and was a saving grace for me as far as my attention and focus could be on that last summer. And so it's been a beautiful year of healing and growth and change and I've wanted to share that with people, but I disrespect the privacy of, you know, our lives that we can share when we, when we are ready for that. So out of respect for my former husband, partner's life. I don't want to go into detail, but I had just was completely like, you know, I'll be with someone when I retire. I do not need to be involved with anybody. I'm good. I'm good to go. I'm totally love what I'm doing in my life. 00:12:40.300 --> 00:13:44.860 I felt like it was, it really was Providence that all the things happened as they did, like the course picked up and you found somebody that worked well to film the course and, There was just this great momentum and I didn't get the sense that you were laid low by how things ended. And then this last year has just turned out to be phenomenal, right? It has been such a transformative and growing year. So... I don't know. I just think things happen. We don't understand the reason why sometimes, but in retrospect, it really feels like there was a path there that you needed to walk. Anyway, as a friend looking on, it's gratifying to see that something that could have been and was painful for a while turn into pain. you know, just an important step along the way. 00:13:46.960 --> 00:14:12.680 Yeah. I am going to miss, I heard you talk about your apartment though. Laura and I were able to visit you and we actually shot some video there. I don't know if that'll ever make it to the light of day, but yeah, I want to know about your fireplace. Did you get rid of your fireplace? Yeah. No, I've got the portable fireplace. I love that portable fireplace. So homey. 00:14:18.040 --> 00:14:20.340 Glad to hear it. Glad you still have it. 00:14:20.480 --> 00:14:21.180 I think that's it. 00:14:21.500 --> 00:14:33.100 I still have it. Yep. Got it right here. Yeah. I'd love you guys to... When I was creating Liberate and opened it up for registration, I went through the loss of my dog, Lucy. 00:14:35.260 --> 00:16:48.820 And shortly, a few days, maybe it was even just two days afterwards, I thought, I'm just going to take a look if there is any place on the lake. Because it's very rare to that any kind of... places open up and they're available to rent along the lake because they're mostly privately owned and especially regarding pets they usually never let people with animals stay because they don't really have to they don't have to there's enough desire of people that don't have pets And I saw this listing for the place and it and it said in one small dog I thought who would say that and small dogs are more annoying than big dogs like we considered usually they're like more yappy and It's one small dog. Amazing. And so I came to see it. And that week that Lucy passed away, these, there's these tulips, a certain kind of tulips that were growing that were like hip high. They were beautiful, beautiful tulips. And when I came to this property, those same tulips were blooming in this garden here. And And I just was blown over by this place. I mean, it just is the dream of what I've always wanted. So I, but I can't, it comes from after like my, the bathtub, the sort of this past year I've had like this shower that has a deep sort of bottom to it became like a bathtub for me. Like I would just squeeze myself into it, like half my body into it. But I made it work. I made it work for a year. So all that's to say is it's so much gratitude for where I am now here in this place. It's light-filled and beautiful. And so about five days after I moved in here, so I signed the lease back in May. then I moved in August 15th and on August 20th this wonderful wonderful man who I've known through friends and for about two years but he kind of confessed his love to me and it's been a beautiful thing it's it's unfolding but he's someone that I deeply admire a person I always thought I would love to be with a man like him I would love to be with such a solid great 00:16:48.820 --> 00:17:03.900 character yeah from what you've told me it sounds like you've had the opportunity just through different does you know social situations to be able to observe him and sounds like he's just a stellar person you know of like really caring and gentle. 00:17:03.900 --> 00:17:31.580 I just want listeners to know how much their love and support all the years, the years we've been doing this, but especially this past year really has been meaningful to me. And also just respecting the privacy of not, you know, not knowing exactly what happened and being able to just have faith that I was going to eventually share something about it. So I look forward to this conversation. next chapter of my life. 00:17:31.860 --> 00:17:35.300 Yeah, that is so exciting. I'm really, really happy to hear that. 00:17:35.660 --> 00:17:37.160 Well done. Yeah. 00:17:38.380 --> 00:17:58.180 Can you, you had told me this, I don't know if this is something you want to share, but you had a moment where the two of you locked eyes and it seemed like that was a turning point of some kind where some kind of understanding was... exchanged in that glance. That sounds like a pretty powerful, like, can you describe that a little bit? Yep. Was it across the room or at a distance? Was it? 00:17:58.340 --> 00:18:25.320 It was a, it was outside. Um, I was coming out of a building and he was there and he was looking at me and I just looked right at him and I walked towards him. and he was standing by his motorcycle and like, yes, I know. Right. Like gorgeous Harley Davidson motorcycle. It was just, and I looked at it and I said, this is a whole, I looked at him and then looked at the bike. I'm like, this is a whole situation. And he said, 00:18:25.700 --> 00:18:27.400 yeah, 00:18:27.400 --> 00:18:47.300 So it just makes me think about life and how our paths we don't know You know we have to it's like we have to keep on our path and keep showing up every day for our life and taking the next right action and The next life takes shows us the way you know our right 00:18:47.300 --> 00:19:12.020 And just the importance of timing. It seems like it was the right moment for that to happen. Yeah. You had known him for two years, but you had needed that time to be able to observe him and get to know him from a distance. And things unfold as they need to, right? Yeah. I don't know. Being able to trust that is a challenge, but... I think it's part of growing up. 00:19:16.040 --> 00:21:00.040 A while back, we had a conversation. I forgot which episode, but we had a conversation about around a quote that we read. Yeah. Where it was something about that we won't. do something until the pain of not doing it is greater than the pain of doing it, right? Oh, what was that quote? Yeah. And I am just, I'm feeling so many conflicting pulls right now. Like, I've just got a tremendous amount of stress related to I was hired back at the school that I was told I wouldn't get a contract to. And I just found out two weeks ago and we've already started school and I'm teaching middle school, which I've never done before in addition to my high school classes and And that has just taken a huge effort and like psychology and emotion to get back into that. And so I guess the contrast of not thinking I was going back to teaching high school. to then not finding a better option. And then, you know, before the school year started getting this email late at night saying, you know, we have a spot for you. Are you interested in going back and having the summer to be able to spend quite a bit of time in the studio and think about what was coming next and think about publishing this course that I've been developing for years and considering what other future might be there rather than trying to just find another teaching job. Right. Just the contrast between those two things has been very acute, right? It's been like especially noticeable because it happened in such a short amount of time where I shifted, you know, what my vision of the future was. 00:21:00.420 --> 00:21:00.920 Right. 00:21:00.900 --> 00:23:46.440 I think I just wanted to... I want to put that out there that, like, I am struggling right now to make a decision. Like, you know, I really don't see myself being a high school educator for the rest of my life. It's just not... It doesn't feel like... I don't, you know, dislike it. I love the kids, but it's just not... When I think about deep down where my heart is, it doesn't feel like the long-term situation. Maybe it is. Who knows? Maybe I'll change my mind in the next year. I don't know. But it is so hard to come home after a week of working or a day of working and like... find time to go to the studio even for five minutes, you know, even after like, like at all, like this whole week, I didn't get more than like 10 minutes at the studio and I had live with me. So she was wanting attention. So I really didn't have any time to, to spend in the studio and it's a lot of money to rent the studio and Yeah, we don't really have a lot of money to dedicate to something especially if I'm not using it But if I lose it, then I am not gonna ever, you know I'm not gonna have it there when I do have time and energy Yeah And I don't know. And when I come home at night, I don't have enough energy to watch these marketing courses that I've paid for and that I really feel like I need to go through to be able to understand how to publish this course. Anyway, I guess I just wanted to voice that to, I don't know, people. to put it out to our listeners audience that I could use your prayers or your goodwill or whatever it is that, you know, power you might have to offer in your heart sent my way to, you know, I'm feeling the extreme pain of not doing it and the extreme pain of the idea of doing it. You know what I'm saying? It's like I'm feeling those two sides very intensely at the moment and kind of feel at a loss for how to make that choice. So, I don't know. That was the unusual thing. It's like I just wanted to put it out there to, you know, say it out loud and get it out of my head and also solicit the, I don't know. the feelings goodwill from, from the universe, I guess. Anyway, I'm sorry. 00:23:46.500 --> 00:23:47.000 Go ahead. 00:23:47.080 --> 00:24:04.700 No, it's, and you know, it's something I bet a lot of people can really relate to is that sense of just having this, the, just exactly the conflicts you're talking about and what, what to do in that, those moments. Yeah. 00:24:04.700 --> 00:24:32.740 yeah there's only so many there's so many hours of the day and you know there's a lot to live for and a lot to make your life about and it's it can be painful to let go of some dreams in favor of others or you know or vice versa to let go of stability and and in favor of pursuing something that's more risky or doesn't seem as defined. 00:24:33.160 --> 00:24:38.760 So when you say you're feeling the pain of not doing, but then when you say you're feeling the pain of doing it, what does that mean? 00:24:40.100 --> 00:25:02.620 Oh, I mean, like, I recognize how painful it is. It would be a lot of work, and it would be overcoming a lot of obstacles to do it. Right? So right now the pain, the potential pain, like the pain that it would be to do it is still greater than the pain of not doing it. Meaning the like... 00:25:02.620 --> 00:25:16.900 I would love to challenge you about that. I would love to challenge you about that. The mindset part of it, you know? I think there's pain in not doing it, but I don't think there's pain in doing it. I think it's a... 00:25:16.900 --> 00:26:35.860 It feels painful. Yeah, it feels impossible, to tell you the truth. Impossible is a pretty dramatic word, but I just don't see how to make all these pieces come together. And the thing that I've really valued, one of the many things about our conversations that I've valued is seeing you go through the process and you've been able to... you know, overcome some, you know, very substantial obstacles in getting to where you're at now. And you've made it work and it's been, you know, you're attempting some similar things to what I would like to attempt. So seeing you have success and seeing you be able to find a way is, has, you know, given me at least a vision and encouragement to, you know, that it, that there's a way forward, but all the same, man, it is, it's just like, it's too much. I cannot see how to, how to make it squeeze enough time and energy out of each day to, to make it all happen. If I were to do that, if I were to, you know, take time and energy from this thing that is providing my family with stability and invest more time in this other thing that is not as clear cut and stable and, you know, that's asking a lot of my family. 00:26:36.440 --> 00:26:36.940 Right. 00:26:37.180 --> 00:27:02.620 So it's not just me. Right. So there's a certain amount of guilt associated with that and wondering if it's being selfish or wondering if it's actually not being selfish. Maybe it's the right thing because it's, you know, how I... go to fulfill my potential and get to a place where I can be a better dad and a better spouse and stuff like that. So, you know, there's like, there's all this internal dialogue that, 00:27:02.820 --> 00:27:56.500 and back and forth that is kind of hard to reconcile. I completely see how, how full and all the elements to your life right now, the situation. And I also, I remember starting the process of trying to create a course and I, I, it seems so, um, even though I've taught and like you not the same way, but taught for years, um, I couldn't figure out how to translate that. I couldn't think about that. I could actually figure out all the technology and all the elements that go into it. The mental mindset of like, how do I translate what I do? That does not vary step-by-step into something that's can still evoke what I want to teach and open people and, and free people and liberate people and tether people. And how do you do that? How do you really do that in a way that's not some cheesy, stupid thing. 00:27:56.760 --> 00:27:57.260 Um, 00:27:57.200 --> 00:28:22.640 the fear, but I wanted a bigger life. I wanted a life. Um, it's just, you kind of have to just do it. You just have to launch. I don't know. I'm sorry, Trent. I just, I see, but I really see the predicament you're in. And I guess I also just see people really doing it and having success and having a lot of freedom in their lives. I want that for you. 00:28:23.180 --> 00:29:26.140 Yeah, that's part of it is like, you know, that little bit of self-doubt, you know, like, is it, do I really have it in me to put everything out there and have the confidence and, you know, it's just everything. It's like, there's so many, you know, That's the thing is I think you and I are at different points in the cycle. Yeah. Yeah. Peaks and troughs. Yeah. And I hope in sharing that I was not kind of downplaying or overshadowing your peak. No, no. Because you are at a peak. But there is the faith there. I do have a deep abiding faith that there is a cycle and that I will find a way out and up. And it's just when you are in... in the trough, as it were, it can be kind of daunting to and challenging to see the way up. But I've been through enough peaks and troughs to know that it will. 00:29:27.060 --> 00:29:28.680 Yeah. It will happen. 00:29:29.680 --> 00:29:51.100 And some of you at times have to get so uncomfortable with it that you're like, all right, I want to change my life. I have to change my life. And I think that's a point. I got the bottom of like, I want... I want, I have to change my life. And also remembering that you can help more people by just doing it. It can be of more service. 00:29:53.160 --> 00:30:26.560 Well, yeah, and I think the people that I'm worried about being negatively affected by me taking chances, I also want them to... have a role model like my kids and my wife have somebody, you know, in their life that me, that I would be somebody who was, you know, taking on doing hard things, like taking on that challenge and pushing through it. So I, 00:30:26.880 --> 00:31:34.840 my challenge for you is to post something in that Facebook group about the feelings you're having right now and saying, this is where I'm at. this is what I'm struggling with as far as this is what my life is looking like. I want this. So just put it into that, put it out there and just see the response you get. Let yourself be helped by those people. because they're good, good, great people. They really are, and have made it, all have the same feelings, but they took the next step, and the next step, and the next step. So you have so much on your side for it. You know, you've got... so much knowledge on so many people are stopped just by the technology alone. Like you, you just so much on in your corner for this to work, that some mental mind stuff shifts and a bit of focus and direction with it. And you're good to go. You're off to the races. So I challenge you to do that this week is just fake it till you make it, man. Fake it till you make it out there. 00:31:35.360 --> 00:31:35.860 Yeah. 00:31:35.800 --> 00:31:57.020 I accept that challenge. I think it's a good one and I'll do it. And I challenge you to, have you ridden the Harley yet? No, I haven't. I think you got it. I think you got to make that happen. That sounds like an invitation you can't pass up. Yes. I think so too. I know. 00:31:57.020 --> 00:32:09.760 So awesome. All right. thanks for listening we'll be back next week and check out the show notes at roominthetrees.com where you can also get in touch if you have any ideas you'd like to share in the meantime you 00:32:09.760 --> 00:32:16.220 can follow us on instagram at sabrina ward harrison and at trent reynolds art please help 00:32:16.220 --> 00:32:27.280 us grow our audience by rating us or writing a review on itunes to do that you can use the link roominthetrees.com forward slash itunes Now go and live some life. 00:32:28.080 --> 00:32:30.300 All right. Have a great week, everyone.