Trenton ReynoldsThis is Room in the Trees, a podcast about living a creative life. Room in the Trees is hosted by Sabrina Ward-Harrison and me, Trent Reynolds.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonShow notes including pictures, links, video, and more for every episode can be found at roominthetrees.com.
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Trenton ReynoldsYou can follow us on Instagram at Sabrina Ward Harrison and at Trent Reynolds Art. We got a couple comments on the website this week, and both were pretty fantastic and like to share them. They are from Susie Lafond, and one was for episode 63 and one for episode 64. So for episode 63, Summerfull says, Hey, you two in the digital hood. Enjoy this episode very much because having been in Liberate Launch 1 was such an incredible experience. And hearing you, Sabrina, share your thoughts reignites all the feels of the entire process. The course was such a true gift of love and trueness, and I can't imagine giving life to a book without having taken the course. Just such an authentic expression of sharing the playing field, that is, creativity with such incredible co-liberators, was a gift of itself. And then add in the knowledge base and community aspects. No other online course can honestly touch that kind of unique experience. Happy to report I'm well into the process of getting the book out into the world. I hit 100 pages done yesterday, and I'm not even at halfway point. So, Sabrina, the course truly does make it happen. Excited for the get-together next year and on things... and on other things, summer is quickly coming to a close, and I'm grateful because I do love fall and winter very much. Hibernate and create season is upon us.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonThat was so great to read. She's someone who I knew leading up to I was following her on Instagram. And I really loved her work. And I saw her commenting that she was looking forward to it. She'd never taken a workshop of mine. And I saw that she was really looking forward to taking this, signing up for the course. And I knew that it was a big investment for her. She was really anticipating the course. And it was really important to me that she... liked it and so it was just it was really meaningful to hear this kind of
Trenton Reynoldsfeedback that's awesome you know that that has maybe interesting connection to what we were talking about yesterday and that is you know the voices or audiences in our head, in our mind, you know, the voices that, I don't know, kind of inform how we create or who we're talking to. Right.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonWe'll mention her Instagram handle is Suzy in Minnesota. So it's S-U-S-I-E-I-N M-N. Suzy in
Trenton ReynoldsMinnesota. Okay. Okay. And then in response to episode 64, Water and Heft, she says, my action when I enter into the studio to begin my immersion into whatever it is I'm working on is to light a candle I keep at my desk. It's my signal that from that moment on that the time is mine and I can begin. And thinking about that further, I just now realize how much it matches how I create, which is slow and intuitive. I'm a slow burner. I cannot work within a constrictive time frame. I envy artists who can sit down for five minutes and whip out a finished something. I have to have at least a cushion of three hours minimum or I won't start at all. Goodness, I wish I had that kind of cushion. I have to be able to settle in and just follow my inclinations in that moment. I don't like to rush. And once I'm fully ignited, then time ceases to exist and the work flows in its own course. There's a flow and I'm in my happy place. So lighting the candle begins the process. And I've been doing that for so long that it serves as a centering and grounding mechanism as well. Though gotta say, I'm with Sabrina on the water thing. When I am painting on any surface, there's always water involved. Best way to start a page, canvas, or whatever is to slosh water on it and see what happens after that. Water is life. I think that probably every artist can define their creative process in part any way using the elements of nature, fire, water, earth, air, and space, if they were to give it some thought. Great episode today. Got my creative juices flowing.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonAwesome. That's cool.
Trenton ReynoldsYeah. I'd love to hear from more people just what if you have ways, actions, or I don't know, what would you call that? Warm up things that get you into the right mental space or that igniters.
Yeah.
Trenton ReynoldsIgniting triggers.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonSpark plugs.
Trenton ReynoldsSpark plugs.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonWhat are your spark plugs? Yeah, boss. Yeah.
Trenton ReynoldsThere's a lot to think about in there. I'm just kind of mulling over the... I can so clearly envision, I don't know what Suzy LaFond looks like, but I can imagine going into a space and lighting a candle and kind of the ceremony of that and how that... I don't know, changes, that process of lighting the candle is both metaphorical and also like sensuous. It's not sensual, it's sensuous, right? Sensuous, yeah. When it involves your senses, so... I don't know, I think similar to you that we're water and flow and like there's a metaphorical or kind of symbolic side of it, but there's also just a very, you know, tactile and You know, the nature of water and how it feels and how it flows is kind of a primer for what you're going to do.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonYeah, a little haphazard, haphazard not knowing, you know, what the water, what will happen. I feel like I'm very aware of my studio and I haven't been here as much. past couple weeks and I realized I came in here and I had a time before our podcast I thought I'd love to do some art and I realized how much it is so maybe you don't have this as much I need I need totally different clothes and I need chapstick and I need lotion yeah I product product involved you get a I can't do much without ChapStick on.
Trenton ReynoldsWell, what could you maybe describe? Could you describe what might occur if you forgot ChapStick? Well, it would be irritating.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonIt would just be-
Trenton ReynoldsIt would be very distracting to the point where-
Sabrina Ward HarrisonBe distracting. Yes. And then I'm wearing this shirt that has these bell sleeves, and so they're long, and they're driving me nuts because I can't... I have... They're so long. They're distracting my hands. And then my pants are too tight. But they're really cute. But they're not appropriate.
Got it.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonBut this is the thing. Here's the thing. Now that I have the studio downtown, you know, there's sort of a buzz of downtown. I'm in the capital. There's all these people at work. And I like the idea of going to work and kind of looking like I'm going, you know, just... pulled together a little bit. So what I need to have is just a changing area to get cozy.
Trenton ReynoldsLike Mr. Rogers.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonYeah, exactly.
Trenton ReynoldsGo to work and put the comfy shoes on and the sweater.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonYeah, yeah. That's what I got to do. I feel like my style is changing a little bit these days.
Trenton ReynoldsStyle in terms of what you wear? How you present yourself?
Yeah, a little bit.
Trenton ReynoldsHow would you describe that?
Sabrina Ward HarrisonI think less like super flowy, a little bit more. I'm working in the gym a lot with my trainer, Kayla. I'm getting jacked.
Trenton ReynoldsSo would you say that you're swinging a little bit more to the heft?
Sabrina Ward HarrisonNo, I'm not hefty. I just look more fit, and I really want to wear things.
Trenton ReynoldsI didn't mean hefty physical. I meant in terms of our last episode of water and heft.
Okay.
Trenton ReynoldsLike you are going away from flowy into something...
Sabrina Ward HarrisonSolid and graspable.
Graspable.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonYeah. Like I... I... This might be just too much information. Or grounded? No. No. Like, for example, I used to always write about spilling open, like, the butt-to-thigh transition. Like, it was really this whole thing about wanting to have this good butt-to-thigh transition. And so I have this trainer, and he was, like, the best butt I've ever seen in my life. Like, it's, like, hashtag butt goals. Like, just... I can talk about butts a little bit because you talked about butts a few episodes ago.
Sure, sure.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonSo this is completely just because I like having projects. So this is my project. This is what I'm working on right now.
Yeah.
Sabrina Ward Harrisonthis butt thing so I'm wearing these pants that are these like paisley kind of spandex bell bottomy pants with this like black shirt with like it's all knotted on the side it's very like curvy and it's, it's just fun. It's fun.
Trenton ReynoldsAnd you're, uh, you feel pretty good about your, uh, about your transition.
Yeah.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonTransitional butt area. I'll report back. I'm just, I'm, I was looking on YouTube about like, you have to activate your, your hamstrings because they don't naturally like that muscle in the back of your thigh doesn't naturally, um, get used you use your quads more so you have to activate this like area of your back of your legs and so i'm learning about how to activate it how do you activate you have to do these certain there are these different kinds of moves you can do that certain kinds of squats and then it's all about like muscle connect muscle mind connection where you have to really mentally focus on exactly the muscles you're you're trying to engage so she's competing um so she's like on this whole other level she wasn't she's just competing and that's like weight lifter but um she wasn't ever planning to be that but she just happened to suddenly be really to have that ability.
Trenton ReynoldsIs your trainer... We should have her on the podcast.
That would be fantastic.
Trenton ReynoldsWhen she's... Is there a discussion specifically about that aspect of... Yes, I finally just...
Sabrina Ward HarrisonYeah, I went straight in with that question. We've been working together for a few months. This is where I'm... This is where I'm focused, Kayla. This is my project. This is a project we started last week. And so I said, I'm... Really, I'm really interested in this, making this happen.
Got it. So.
Trenton ReynoldsWell, that's interesting. You know, naturally I go to my own butt-thigh transition and I have to say. I don't think there's a transition.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonI think... Is it just... Is it just, like, one, like...
Trenton ReynoldsYeah. Line? Yeah. Yeah. There's a... I think it just goes. I think there's no... There's no change in direction.
Yeah.
Trenton ReynoldsI'm trying to think of what constitutes a transition. Like there's just a, yeah, I think just go straight. All right. Well, yeah, let us know how that goes. Be interested in hearing which exercises work for you.
Yeah.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonI think I'm one of those people that just gets, I love getting really into something. And I think that's how in my life, I like having projects and I think I've been so career and this past year really giving my career my fullest attention possible in my audience and, you know, providing as much as I can to give to other people. And so... I feel that there's this little respite of time right now that's kind of fun to just get super girly with what I'm thinking about and what I kind of want to focus on. And it's just, it's refreshing. And I think it's a little bit uncomfortable because it makes me think, oh, I need to be thinking about... you know, all these other work things and what other people need. And it's just like, well, I've got a lot coming up on leaving again to lead a retreat in Europe. And it's just been this past few weeks. It's kind of been fun to just be in a different, a little bit of a different mindset.
Trenton ReynoldsDo you, do you feel like you are, when you go into something new that you are thinking in terms of making it into a concrete project that has, you know, like a, a goal and a set finish and, you know, thinking of it in terms of that kind of concrete package.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonI think I need that. Yeah. I think I need that. Yeah. Yeah. Like I remember when I decided to stop drinking like three years ago, it was that kind of thing. Like, I'm like, I want to, I want to like, do the whole 30. I want to start CrossFit. I want to stop drinking. I want to stop having sugar. And I just like drag this huge piece of wood up from the street and that's stickers for every day that I cooked healthy and I didn't drink and I didn't, and I exercised and like, I liked doing knowing like, okay, in six months, I'm going to be going home to see my dad for his 70th birthday and see the rest of my family. Like, I liked that kind of like goal setting, especially around like
Trenton Reynoldsphysical health. And do you feel like is that something you've always been that way? Or is that just like how you are when you're at your best type deal? You know what I mean? Like, like, I think, you know, everybody goes through their own life cycles and ups and downs. And, um, I don't know, do you feel like that's the best manifestation of you or is that just kind of something that always is?
Sabrina Ward HarrisonI look back in high school and I remember my friend, Jason, I would say next year and we'd all be all about next year. We have this plan and this vision and I can look back that far and see it was definitely I love taking on like, it's all going to be new and different next year. And this is going to be my thing. And I don't think I've, I'm not someone who's as continually like to sort of even temp tempo, like, I'm not always in it for the long haul. I like activation.
Trenton ReynoldsShort, concrete, set, kind of clear objectives and activities. Yeah. That's something that I... I struggle with personally. I feel like I'm somebody that's easily distracted and I do kind of think in longer cycles. Like I'll pick something up and work on it a little bit and then just acknowledge that I might not get back to it for a year. and like that's okay with me. What's not okay with you? What ends up happening is that I've just got kind of a lot of little projects constantly mulling over in my mind, you know, just kind of circling some that get to have more urgency because I'm like, I have to have a deadline or have something specific I'm trying to accomplish, but there's always just this morass of, you know, little ideas and, and curiosity is kind of propagating and, boiling and I just end up being way too unfocused and I have a harder time kind of locking down on you know specific results and starts and finishes and like steady progression if that makes sense I don't know anyway I think it's it's not something that I think is a problem unless well it the way it is a problem is that you know some I can have a hard time just sticking to one thing and seeing it all the way through. Right.
Right.
Trenton ReynoldsWhich is a problem. That's what I struggle with.
Yeah.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonIt's something about getting things checked off a list is so, like just seeing it all the way out and through the door and done. I think that's where I'll get caught in the minutia of letting things kind of thinking it's sort of unfish. Get the thank you card written, get the envelope, get the stamp, get it in the mail.
Trenton ReynoldsYeah, I get caught up in the like, well, what kind of envelope? Exactly. Maybe it would be more efficient if I, you know, use instead of using an envelope, I could use a postcard or, you know, like there's a... And in losing sight of like, this is what I'm doing and why, and this is the most expedient way to get there. And I get kind of lost in the process and just kind of, you know, either enjoying or just anxiously getting too involved in the process.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonYeah. And like letting things not be perfect. I think there's something about like even just assembling as a thank you note. I'll not send a thank you note just for the sake that I'm spending so much time thinking about how I want to make the thank you card. I don't want to just send a boring thank you card that I have in my drawer. And I'm just changing that mindset. I'm like, just take the one that's in the drawer that's made by somebody else. came in a package and get the thank you letter out and then you can always make something else but i want to i'm trying to be better about just don't let it you don't have to be massive creative
Trenton Reynoldsi guess that's part of growing up isn't it just like recognizing that you don't have unlimited time and energy and resources and if you want to get things done you know you just got to be willing to do what you can and not obsess over the fact that it's not exactly what you envisioned.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonYeah, and I think that that relates to making, even thinking about making the book pages and people, for me, one of the big epiphanies I had when I was talking, thinking about this with my students was the idea of having to have the pages be, there were many times I was working on those, my pages were spilling open and I didn't, and my other books where I just thought, well, "Oh, this page, I don't really like it." And would get really hung up on it, but the pages were due. Like I had to get these spreads in, turned in, it was time, they were to be done. And looking back, remembering that the book is something as a whole. It's not like, "I like spilling open, but these seven pages suck." Like you like a person, you like the whole person, including the flaws and You don't not like them just because a few different things are problematic. But, you know.
Trenton ReynoldsRight. Or, I mean, it's also the imperfections that become the kind of enduring parts of them.
Exactly.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonSo that's something I really encourage my students to do. Like give that, there has to be some limitation on, you know, who are we to actually know that the piece is not perfect? good enough for pages. It's the message. It's the energy and the voice of the page.
It's the most important. Let it lie.
Trenton ReynoldsWhich kind of speaks to, again, what we had gotten started talking about yesterday. Yeah. when we had some technology difficulties. And maybe this is trying too hard to get back there, but I thought it was a really good topic and worth digging into a little bit. But we were talking a little bit about the voices that are in our head. And you said that there's a common, there are some common phrases that one of your negative voices brings up. Is that a fair way of saying it? Or why don't you describe what it is?
Sabrina Ward HarrisonYeah, like there's sort of old belief systems, old voice belief systems of the critic inside that's, really nothing to do with the reality of ourselves in this moment necessarily but um the the voices that i can get tangled into sometimes were you know i don't know how i i'm not i was never shown how i need to because I wasn't a good student, somehow I'm not going to be able to understand the directions. That's a big one for me. Like, I don't, I'm not going to understand the directions. So, I don't know. I'm not going to be able to learn it myself. I'm not going to be able to pay attention long enough to figure this out. What's one for you?
Trenton Reynoldslike feeling like I don't know what to say or I don't know if what it is that I... I don't feel like what I have is worth contributing. Whatever it is that I... you know, people are going to be bored by what I do or not value it or it'd be annoying or like being an annoyance and being a burden are big kind of negative. Yeah. Yeah. I think that translates to, you know, negative voices that come up when I'm facing a challenge.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonI would never have guessed that about you. But yeah, I would never think of you that way.
Trenton ReynoldsWell, it's part of being the fourth of six boys and not really feeling invisible to a certain degree or that I didn't have anything unique to offer or when decisions were being made, my voice wasn't really sought after or valued. just like get out of the way type deal. But it's also just my nature, you know, my personality. I tend to be a little bit more, you know, introverted, standoffish, observant, you know, stuff like that. But yeah, like when I come to like with art, a lot of times the thing that keeps me from creating or that gets me stopped is just feeling like, why am I doing this? Nobody's going to care. You know, like, this is so dumb. Like, I can't start because I don't know what to do yet. You know, like, I don't have anything worth putting down on paper. So I think a lot of my negativity or the voices in my head kind of surround that idea. Yeah.
Oh.
Trenton ReynoldsOne of the phrases that you brought up yesterday was that you just will have in your mind, I can't do that. Yeah. That's a phrase that will pop up into your head. And a phrase that comes to me is like, I think just tends to be self-critical. Like, oh, you're an idiot. Like, what are you doing? Those are the kind of things, you know, just stop. Those are the negative voices.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonOh, stop it. Stop doing yourself.
Trenton ReynoldsIt's like, what is, what is? is that? And that's, I think that's what I wanted. I wanted to ask you after our conversation yesterday is like, is there an intonation or like a character to the voice that comes? Like, is there a movie star or actress, a kind of voice? Is it male or female? Is it whiny? Mine's really whiny. Mine's like just intolerable. whiny. It's like so self-defeating and pitiful. Oh, that's a great question.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonIt's, I can kind of picture a girl from high school, and I won't say her name, that is completely a kind person, as friends of mine on Facebook, but the idea of kind of this snobby, a snobby girl with a really strong Southern California accent, being like, who does she think she is? Like, oh my gosh, I'm embarrassed. Like this, like, I'm embarrassed for her. Like standing in like a little clique and kind of talking under their bread, like, awkward. Gosh, she, yeah. That's awkward, embarrassing. That's embarrassing what she's doing.
Trenton ReynoldsCringing at you from the sideline type.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonYeah. Yeah. That's so bad. That's so, so bad. And then this other part of me that's like, I'm a badass superhero. Like, don't mess with me. And then they got nothing on this. But that's not a common way of mindset I have. Yeah.
Trenton Reynoldsyou know, that you're producing something for somebody, it's their voices that come in and kind of keep you going.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonOf course, of course. And I think that's more on the art side of things. I gratefully feel that way more often than not, but on the side of just being a girl in the world, it can waver between different kinds of voices. Like I was saying yesterday, when I have a crush on somebody, those voices that I'll kind of be looking at myself without like third person like object being like objectively critical of myself and then I have to stop and I'm like I'm Sabrina I'm just this is either you like it or you don't
Trenton Reynoldsand is it that same kind of snobby California accented girl yeah probably
Sabrina Ward Harrisonit's probably yeah it's probably more yes yes it's more when it comes to and things like that.
Trenton ReynoldsI'm so embarrassed for her.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonSo embarrassed right now. Like, she thinks he's going to like her, actually. Do you think it? Like, he so doesn't like her.
Trenton ReynoldsOh, my gosh. She doesn't realize. Like, he does not like her. She doesn't know. She's so not in his leg. Oh, my gosh. I know. So the snobby, critical, judgmental voice is like California heavy accent. What about the positive voice? The encouraging voice, is that, what kind of voice is that?
Sabrina Ward HarrisonIt's like Alanis Morissette. Like warm, deep.
Trenton ReynoldsLike high energy.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonPositive, confident, strong, complete. You're amazing. It's really affirming.
Trenton ReynoldsWhat kind of phrases would there be with that voice?
Sabrina Ward HarrisonYou know, that kind of sense of everyone's uniquely you. You're uniquely you. Yeah. that someone would be lucky to be with me, you know, that kind of thing. Like that, like I can think like, I'm a good time. I'm a great, I'm a good, like, I have a lot to offer. Kind of embarrassing to talk about publicly like this, but.
Trenton ReynoldsIs it male or female? No, it's female. You just said it like a small sentence, right? I definitely have some female voices that are critical and discouraging.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonWho would yours be?
Trenton ReynoldsYeah, I mean, the cool girls, that's a really potent, nasty, judgmental, dismissive. uh voice that you know so ingrained and hard to get away from in high school what would they be
Sabrina Ward Harrisonsaying what's in your in your when you picture them what would they be saying about you i think
Trenton Reynoldsit'd just be like he's what it would be the what what it's so weird you're like I don't know if I, the California voice, I don't know. It is hard to kind of dig into that and be honest about it, right? It's like you say it out loud and you realize, and I don't know, I think maybe that's the benefit of talking about it is to realize that when you actually give voice to these things that exist in your head, you realize. realize how silly.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonExactly. I know.
I know.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonAnd then we look back and think, oh my gosh, thank God we were just going to our own rhythm and doing our own thing and we weren't like trying to be the same and not have our own authentic, find our own authentic spirit and share it.
Trenton ReynoldsYeah, if you trace those voices back, you know, and you actually like, okay, who is saying that? And then think of, well, who would she or he approve of and actually like say the things that I would want to hear? And do I want to be that person? You know, is that the person that I want to be? And, you know, probably not. Well, I think those voices are so, I don't know, so critical in how we motivate ourselves and also get in our own way. Completely get in. The thing that's catching us up and knocking us off and keeping us from being creators are so silly. Yeah. Even if we actually... told somebody what those voices were or tried to think, you know, somewhat critically about what those voices are and where they come from, we'd realize that there's just no reason that those things should keep us from doing our best and being our best, you know, and creating what we have to create. I think the biggest, one thing that we've talked about before, but I think for me, the biggest encouraging voice and phrase and mantra, are there negative mantras, like the opposite of mantra, like a reoccurring phrase that kind of holds you down? There's got to be like a... dark mantra.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonI can't think of it. I feel like there's totally a word I'm not thinking of right now.
Trenton ReynoldsBut the one that always feels calming to me and centering and it's a voice that feels deep and warm I don't know if it's male or female. I don't, I don't think I've kind of, uh, attached it to a gender, but the phrase is always you're enough. Yeah. And maybe it's me. Maybe that's why I've never attached it to a specific, you know, male or female, just cause it's, it's my voice, you know, and it's like, uh, I just need to hear myself, you know, hear my own voice reassuring, you know, that, that, that, whatever it is that I'm doing is enough.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonIt's fine.
You're okay. Keep going. Yeah.
Trenton ReynoldsIt's an interesting thing. Thanks for listening. We'll be back next week. In the meantime, you can follow us on Instagram at Sabrina Ward Harrison and at Trent Reynolds Art.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonAnd check out the show notes at roominthetrees.com where you can also get in touch if you have any ideas you'd like to share.
Trenton ReynoldsRate us on iTunes and share Room in the Trees with a friend.
With a friend.
Trenton ReynoldsWith a friend.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonHave a great week, everyone. Be good to yourself.
Trenton ReynoldsAnd don't listen to that snubby girl over in the corner staring at you.
No, screw that.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonListen to us. Listen to our voices.
All right.