Sabrina Ward Harrisonliving a creative life and having adventures and doing it anyway. Episode number 42 "Hammocknado" Room in the Trees is hosted by me, Sabrina Harrison and Trent Reynolds. You can find show notes and information about the... I just put up the new dates for the September true living experience here in Madison. Both the June workshops are sold out. So check it out on foodinthetrees.com forward slash Madison 2017, but there's a link on the front page. You can rate us and review us on iTunes. We love that and it helps us reach more people. You can become a subscriber on Patreon, which is patreon.com forward slash room. and enjoy this episode. So I'll tell you a little bit of the hammock situation. About two weeks ago, we had some moment of seeing either someone hanging in the hammock, or we just really had the epiphany, like, we want a hammock. like go hammocking right um and so cory immediately went on amazon prime and got like a two-person hammock and it's called like bear butt or something i don't know it was we got it and we walked down there's two parks there's three parks actually within a walk down to Orton Park and we're all good to go. We found some trees and then the rope wasn't long enough, like between the trees. We're like, really? Okay. It was perfect weather. All set. We have John O'Donohue to read out loud. We've got snacks. We've got sparkling water. We've got a blanket. Totally. Beautiful light. Calm. Perfect. Yeah. totally okay we got this and there's people picnicking in the water everything's nice and then I sit in it and then he gets to sit in it and it the rope completely breaks which is really dangerous because of his spinal fracture he had know cannot fall on this back so then we're like all right we got to go to the hardware store so this is their movie four or five days later I don't know maybe not remembering exactly it whatever sequence of it all. So we go to the hardware store, we get this really thick, 20 feet of this really thick, thick rope. Awesome. We're set. We go up to Devil's Lake this weekend and we're like, okay, it's going to happen. We're walking all over finding the trees.
And then...
Sabrina Ward Harrisonwe had enough rope to only tie one side, and we realized we just couldn't risk it, so I went in the hammock. And then we saw, we sort of watched other people, other couples that had a hammock situation going, and we're like, alright, we need these certain kind of straps. So while we're sitting there, and I'm in the hammock. Corey's ordering these special straps off Amazon, which arrived on Monday. And then, so then yesterday we're like, we have to get the hammock after work. We have to get that for us. So we packed the snacks again, third time, packed the snacks. Tornado warnings. Oh, like serious tornado warnings. And it had been beautiful, like balmy, sunny, a little bit of a breeze, beautiful afternoon, gorgeous. He gets to my house. It's just like crazy weather. So we're like, we are, it shows our character because we're like, we are still go and hammock so we we walked down there and it's like it has about an hour but i'd never been in a tornado and i'm like i was like oh yeah seriously nothing it's just some wind fine gory's like do you have a basement like yeah he's like i'm like why are you asking just you know there's you know like a really a tornado and so we go down there we got the right straps and then cory's putting it up and that's what the video is it's like we are doing this and we got it and then i was trying to get flipping so painting the picture for for the listeners that they bought
Trenton Reynoldsa hammock that wasn't one of those rope ones that you know interlinking ropes that are full of holes You bought one that is like a solid piece of fabric, right? Yeah. Of canvas. Yeah. Looks like kind of parachute, like nylon type fabric. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of shiny. Very comfortable looking. But you can imagine that whilst trying to put up a solid sheet of fabric in a tornado. It was not going well for you. And it became very clear that it was more parachute than...
Sabrina Ward HarrisonYeah. It was like whipping around in my face and everything.
Trenton ReynoldsSo, Corey finally got it hung up in the first video. And then you were trying to get in it in the second video.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonIn the second video, it's me trying to get in it. get in it and then and then he got in it too and we're like okay how long did you stay in the hammock and we stayed in there like we stayed for at least five minutes i think because the wind on the water is like we were right against the lake so this is like it's it's like lake it's not the ocean but there's these white cap yeah you can see it in the video coming yeah so we uh the camera starts splattering and then i was like you know what um i think we should probably go home now but it just i suddenly felt a little bit scared like yeah i should I don't know how serious these things are. Because there are like sirens that go off here. You have to go to the shelter. So I'm like, let's wrap this up. But it showed our determination. And we're like, I'm in. You in? OK.
Trenton ReynoldsWe're committed. That was so funny. So funny watching you trying to get - And the hammock. But she did it. - That's awesome. I love wind and I love, I remember in Chicago in the summertime, Laura and I, when we were dating, to go out in her, the backyard of the place she was staying and lay down on the grass and it would be just super windy and the sky would be this kind of eerie orange from all the lights in the city. And it's just kind of, I don't know, there's something about how just nature, the wind just whipping around you that's kind of thrilling.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonBut I imagine that-- - You remember how in Southern California, like the Santa Anas usually would come just before an earthquake.
Trenton Reynolds- Yes, yeah, I mean that whole kind of the earthquake weather type of feeling, yeah. Well that is a great story and so happy that you guys got that on video.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonHow cool is that? - Yeah, I think it's really important to, like be within relationships with work or personal that you feel like you're committed to solving, like doing the moment, like you're all in, you know, in whatever way. But I think it's so important to be, well, it's like our commitment to this podcast.
Like you just,
Sabrina Ward Harrisondo what you're going to say.
Trenton ReynoldsThat's actually something that might be worth digging into a little bit. The being all in and seeing things through completion because I feel like a lot of artists, myself included, a lot of creative people get ideas in their mind and they pursue them and then they just kind of get bored with them or it gets too hard to actually see their vision through so they give up and go onto to something else. And it might seem like a good idea because you're bored with that idea or you feel like the thought was completed and you didn't really need to finish it anyway. But I think there's an important skill of actually completing, seeing something all the way through to the finish, even if you end up losing interest or you know, not even feeling like it's the right direction anymore. You know what I mean?
Sabrina Ward HarrisonYes. And that's very tricky with artwork, right? Because you just have to... It's very tricky. Very tricky. Very tricky.
Trenton ReynoldsWell, it's tricky because you don't know if you're just dumping a ton of time into something stupid, you know, that you shouldn't be dumping a bunch of time into. Or if just the process of finishing what you set out to complete is going to... to be an important lesson or an important thing to see through. Does that make sense?
Yep. Yep.
Trenton ReynoldsI see this a lot with students, and I can see them having a hard time making that distinction, you know, where they feel like they've just made the right decision of abandoning a project and starting something new, where from my vantage point, it's very clear to me that they just hit a roadblock and it felt too uncomfortable. or felt too difficult, and they weren't willing to kind of push through it. And had they pushed through it, they would have found something more satisfying, more fulfilling than if they had started a new thing and had an easier time with. Does that make sense? Yeah. I haven't heard. time kind of putting words to that but it there are some things that are really really hard to teach and i feel like that's one of them and i it probably is hard to teach for me because i i struggle with it myself the the problem or the difficulty that we feel like we have to overcome feels impossible um yeah and i think it's something that that's in our mind and the process of overcoming that and pushing through to the other side helps us to just it's a skill to learn, right? The skill to learn how to realize that ultimately we're in control of how big a deal this is.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonMm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Trenton ReynoldsYou know what I mean? Like so a painting, you hate it, you're done with it, or you're bored with it and you want to try something new. You've got the control over deciding when it's done or what complete means. So, I don't know, changing your expectation of what that painting has to be. - Yeah. - You know what I'm saying? It's like, I don't even know, I'm having a hard time communicating about it. It makes so much sense in my mind, but I have a hard time like, it's not really about the actual artwork itself, but I think it's what is, what it represents psychologically, and like the skill that we're trying to develop going through that process of completing.
Sabrina Ward Harrison- Yeah, and there should, there probably are some fantastic mental exercises to do around that, you know? And kind of trick your because it is it is such a brain thing and to trick your mind into just Staying in flow and in movement like I can it analogy I have is like I was just at CrossFit today and before podcasting, we were doing box jumps. So it's a strong wooden box, 20 feet tall or up to 40 feet, not 40, no, not 20 feet tall, 20 inches tall. Rock climb up this box, jump over it. So my wonderful coach, Patrick, was like, He said, "Well, I think you can go up a little higher." So he put this really heavy, 45-pound dumbbell on top of the box for me to jump. He said, "Do a jump on the side of it, not onto the box, but just to see yourself that you can actually jump that high." And so I do it without the box and he's like, yeah, you can totally clear it. And then, so I go and try to jump on it and I land it. And I'm like, okay, I got this. And I do about three of them. And then I get conscious of the fact he's watching me, which as a good coach, You know, he's watching. But I get conscious of that I've done it already. I've proven I can do it. Now I have to continue to do it. And someone's watching me. And I haven't had that feeling since maybe riding horses and being afraid of a jump. And not going confidently. You just have to go and keep. We were talking about it's just my brain is saying, you know, you're not capable of this. And I, we had three rounds, so I had three rounds to do it, and I just couldn't believe how, like spooked, oh, what happened was I slipped, like I got, I was watching the box too much, and he said, "Jump like you're jumping up to the sky, "don't look at the box." and I jumped but I hesitated midway and then I just slipped and like fell. And the reason that it's, the mind is trying to protect you because you really can get hurt if you jump and say, like you don't land it and you can tear your shin up really bad. 'Cause it's a heavy, you know, it's a sharp, not a sharp box, but like a, you know, it would hurt really badly to fall as you're jumping.
Right.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonBut once I had that, I could not jump again. And I had this, like, I am going to do this before I leave this. The gym, the class was over, and I'm like, I've got to do this, and I just couldn't. And then I got really, really sad about it, because I totally took it as an example of myself and the world, and just move forward, and you can do this. And it completely, to me, tied into where I go in my, I'm not capable of doing X, Y, and Z, or... And so he was saying, every time I got spooked by it, I had to go to the side and do a pretend one in the air because he said the thing you have to do is keep movement. You can't stop. You have to keep, even if you're not jumping on that jump, you have to keep jumping. So that was interesting to me.
so
Trenton ReynoldsI think there's something to that that seems like a good analogy to not just to what you're experiencing in doing that jump but but in you know talking to
Sabrina Ward Harrisonmaking artwork too. Yeah, yep. Well I noticed I was thinking in relation to this which is very exciting about the new job and acknowledging that you did whatever you did you saw this opportunity through and you made it happen.
Trenton ReynoldsYes, yeah. Here's the thing about that though looking now at at all the experience that I've developed over the past you know eight or nine years. The classes that I've taken, the detours that I've taken, and for a couple years I was trying to get into digital matte painting and texture painting for, you know, the 3D models on the computer. And I've been trying to make online classes and do broadcasting, like video stuff, and I've had to learn and teach myself a lot of video editing and how to use equipment and stuff like that. So I look back and I see all these little detours that felt like dead ends or failures or things that just did not work out as expected or hoped. And all of those things, you know, when I look at my resume and the one I submitted for this job, Laura pointed this out, actually. She looked at the resume and just realized that all those detours, all those, you know, I guess in the moment, they might have felt like detours or failures. But those are the resume line items that probably were what got me the job. Because the job is not a painting position. It's a photography and video. position. So there is the promise though or the strong possibility that I'll be teaching artwork art classes as well painting and drawing because there's a lot of a lot of the art teachers are overworked right now they have more classes than uh than they're supposed to so there is a chance that I'll pick up some of that as well but the reason I got the position is is is because I have this experience. And not only that, one of the things that interested them is that I have this background in 3D printing and kind of this maker space Fab Lab stuff. And so and that's just kind of a hobby thing. But it was like all these all these little pieces that felt irrelevant, you know, are what kind of combined together to make to be completely relevant, right? Like to make this whole that I would never kind of been able to plan for or envision for myself, but were essential to, you know, ultimately where we're I'm ending up. And I think the lesson to be learned there for me, once again, is this idea that, you know, we often feel like there ought to be a straight line between where you're at now and where you want to get. But especially now, I think with the way everything is getting turned on its head by... the internet, there just isn't that straight line. You know, nobody, people are still trying to figure out exactly what it is, you know, let alone finding a pathway to it, right? So I think the analogy that I was, I don't know, I heard a lot about, but I think it's heard somebody say that it's less like a path and more like you're circling the toilet. Do we already talk about this? No. We're circling the toilet bowl, you know, and in this metaphor, you know, the hole going, getting flushed is the goal. That's where you want to get to. And you just kind of got to circle around.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonIt's so gross.
Trenton ReynoldsIt's so gross. And I don't know. Or you know those, like, what are they? At a fair or something, they have those devices where you put a penny in or a nickel in and it goes around and around and around and slowly gets faster and faster until it drops into the hole? You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So maybe that's a better metaphor. So one of those, but I don't know what you call that. But the point is that you're always looking for ways to get closer to your eventual goal. And really what it turns out being is just kind of circling around getting ever closer until finally you reach the destination or you reach... reach your ultimate goal.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonDoes that-- - Yeah, yep, yep.
Trenton Reynolds- Whereas we want it, we want it just to be like, as the bird flies, I'm gonna just do this and this and this and then I'll be able to get to my desired outcome. But that certainly has not been my, my experience, and I think the danger is, is that, you know, these, these attempts at getting closer and closer can often feel like failures or feel like irrelevant, you know, or that we're not able to get from A to B. Um, and they feel like detours, they, they feel like going the wrong direction and maybe they are slightly the wrong direction, but as long as they get you closer to that ultimate goal, I think that is what we've got to recognize as a success or as progress. and not that it was the most direct route. - Absolutely. - As long as it gets you closer, that ultimately you've gotta have faith that you will eventually arrive.
Sabrina Ward Harrison- And also that you need to just try as you may to be able to be gentler to yourself because I've been trying to say this to myself, like it's somehow I'm going to look back on this time and be say like, isn't that interesting? How it all happened for a reason. And it all, you know, and then you think all that anxiety and all that worry in the moment that could have been subdued if I had just trusted a bit more in, in, as long as I'm being present in each moment and trying to be as fully alive and engaged and awake to my life, it's gonna make sense.
Trenton Reynolds- Right. And I think that's one of the advantages of getting older, right? Is you have that experience enough and have that cycle happen enough where you're able to end up at a point and look back and see how everything led you to this milestone, you know, whatever that may be, that you can start to have more faith that that is just part of this, you know, life cycle that you go through. But I think if we're not careful and we start to see all of these kind of, these attempts at getting closer to our ultimate goal as failures that we end up giving up on that ultimate goal and doing something completely contrary to to getting there as I hit these brick walls or what feel like brick walls as I've been trying to get closer and closer to this goal whatever that is I don't even know what the you know it's just kind of this this feeling of something to get toward a vision. The advice I get implicitly and explicitly is you just got to give up on that dream and go do something practical and go sell insurance or go get a job that will... you know, get the kind of money that you need to survive. And that's a completely logical, reasonable advice to give. But you've got to realize that the trade-off is, you know, you think, well, I'll just go and I'll make some money for a while and I'll get stable and then I'll come back to this. And I think the reality is that once you go off in that opposite direction or put your you know, the wrong wall, you're not coming back. You know, there's just too much that is going to, you're going to get too far away to make it even possible to get back to getting, you know, closer to your vision. So, you know, that's the worry is that as we kind of circle the goal, you know, go around and around and around, just trying to get closer and closer to whatever that is, you know, this vague notion of of what we're after or a specific notion of what we're after. If we start to see those points as failures, that we'll just give up and go in a completely different direction and lose the possibility of ever reaching. so anyway
Sabrina Ward HarrisonI want to know just a bit more about this the fab room or the freaking awesome room whatever
Trenton Reynoldsit is awesome I don't know that I know very much more than I've already told you other than I've walked around it and seen some of the machines Peter, my friend who's the head of the art department there he is not very into the goings on at the Fab Lab. So he wasn't able to really explain what all the machines were. But, so there were probably four or five machines that looked awesome that I wasn't told what they do. One of them I think is actually a laser capable of cutting through metal.
- Oh my God.
Trenton ReynoldsBecause they have a robotics program.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonWow.
Trenton ReynoldsWhich is awesome. Wow.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonOh, my gosh.
Trenton ReynoldsI know they have two laser cutters that, you know, are quite obviously capable of cutting through wood and plexi and a bunch of different, you know, materials. And if they can cut through them, they can also do engraving. Yeah. there's that there's a vinyl cutter there's at least ten different kinds of 3d printers no no I'm sorry not ten different kinds there are ten at least ten machines I think there are like eight of one like a maker bot or something and then there's a row of like three others so there are multiple different kinds and qualities of 3d printer and you know, this metal cutting machine and large format, like blueprint printer and just, just cool, cool stuff, a whole wall full of robotics, wires and actuators. And they're just all all sorts of cool stuff what's an actuator um i don't know i said that and i immediately realized that i don't even know what an actuator is it's i think it's it's something that um activates like a circuit so like to turn something on and off Anyway, I'm going to cut that out because I have no idea what I'm talking about.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonNo, I think it's funny. Let's think of what it could be. When I hear it, I thought that it's making actual things happen. You know, just in a funny way. Like, it's an actualator.
Trenton Reynoldsso an actuator like makes it actually happen and we need those in our little heads so the last thing that I'd like to say about about this new job is is something that occurred to me after we found out and we were both crying and it was like, it was a big deal. It is a big deal. And what occurred to me though is that something that's happened before. And that is that this, all this struggle that we've gone through these past, you know, it's been especially difficult for the past two years. We had our third daughter. It's been hard for about eight years, you know, but it's been really, really hard for about a year and a half, two years. The joy and the satisfaction and the relief of getting this job, And the excitement I feel for getting into it and committing to it and just recognizing the blessing that it is, is directly related to the struggle of getting there, right? - Yeah. - And that happened before in Laura and my life living here in L.A. When we first moved here, we got a job as building managers and it was a really tough job for Laura. Laura had to do most of it 'cause I was teaching at a, several classes at Santa Monica College at the time. And she had just come to L.A. from a really good situation where she was really happy. And so it was a new thing, and she had a really overbearing boss. And anyway, it was just a really dark period. And we'd just gotten married, so that was a lot of change. So that was the first year and a half here in LA and it was really difficult and it was really a hard thing to adjust to. After a year and a half, just within a day, within a week, we were offered, we found out about a position that was opening up at our current building. and we interviewed and got the job, found out, interviewed, got the job within like a week. Wow. And this, our current building, two bedroom, two bath, air conditioning, private garage, like it is, and the building owner lives up in Monrovia, which is far enough away where they're not up in our business all the time.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonExactly, exactly. - Exactly.
Trenton Reynolds- And it was because of that change and that contrast, I think we were able to really recognize and feel the hugeness, you know, the enormity of this thing that we'd been given, you know. And I think without that, it would have been much easier to see fault and see all the things that it was not, you know, and not realize the huge, huge blessing that it is. And because of that, you know, that's when we started feeling like it was... like we could handle starting to have kids. So it was a big, big shift. And that's kind of what it feels like right now is that I feel like the struggle to get to this point was a really important part of getting the job. Yeah. you know hopefully they empower you to see you know the equal and opposite joy and good that that is waiting on the other end of that so and didn't and
Sabrina Ward Harrisonwasn't there some aspect where because she'd had that training you guys had had been building managers that was in your wheelhouse right yeah yeah so because we you doing what you've been doing dabbling yeah exactly yeah no that is good paraphrase
Trenton Reynoldswe wouldn't have been eligible even to apply for our current job without that first year and a half of experience.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonYeah, it's amazing.
Trenton ReynoldsYeah, and of course, you look back and it's all hindsight is 20-20 and it all makes sense. in retrospect, which does not make the present any easier, or the struggle any easier, but I don't know, I think it's important to have that faith that you're not struggling, or that struggle is creating strength and it's creating contrast and context for the episode. up times.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonYeah. I feel a little bit like that with my relationship with Corey, for sure. Like I really don't take it for granted. You know, if I maybe met him when I was 21 or something, and this is from, from my experience, being so independent and sort of having to do it all myself for a long time. um that the things that I appreciate and really value that he brings to my life and the way he's such a helping hand is just I would I wouldn't have been able to see that as as clearly and be so grateful for it if I hadn't been done it all my all on my own for so long
Trenton ReynoldsRight. There it is. And I think, and I, to try to pull that back into art making, I think, I think it has everything to do with art making as well. You know, that the struggle, the push, hitting our head against the wall and trying to make a painting and trying to make, or whatever your work is, whatever form it takes and, or whatever your voice is, you know, just trying to figure out what it is that you have to say, hitting your head against the wall is an important part of that process. And ultimately, you've got to have faith that if you get through that, if you push through the difficult times and do all that work of overcoming, that you'll have the tools you need to realize your goal. realize that potential.
Yeah.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonAnd then taking the work down off the wall, putting it somewhere else, and starting fresh. Yes. You know? That's what I want to do. And I want to have an end date to this.
Trenton ReynoldsOh, that is a whole other episode of creating artificial limits, right? Time constraints and stop and start dates and shows so you don't just keep on hitting whatever don't want to use violent examples or whatever sayings
Sabrina Ward Harrisonas my morning as my morning advice Corey says Sabrina put some paint on some wood yes and that's what I just have to do just do that yeah Jeez, like seriously. That is fantastic.
Trenton ReynoldsThat is the perfect, perfect advice.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonI need a t-shirt that says that. You do. Oh. Okay. That was good. Good combo.
Yep. True that.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonThanks for listening, you guys. And show notes, we will include a link to the hammock and the straps that were helpful that we figured out that we needed. And we'll include the funny videos that Corey and I shot in our tornado attempt to rocket through the hammock. There are new dates just added for the True Living experience in September here in Madison. Very excited about it. It's a really, really beautiful time to come to Madison. It's going to be September 22nd. to the 24th here in Madison. And that is up on the website. We will be talking to you next week. Lots of love.
Hammock it out. Bye.