Sabrina Ward Harrison♪ It is Thursday, March 16th, 2017. This is Room in the Trees, a podcast about living life as a creative person, and about alchemy. The following was recorded on March 9th, 2017. This is episode 37, Chicken-ness and Sweet Potato-ness.
Yes.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonRoom in the Trees is hosted by Trent Reynolds and me, Sabrina Harrison. Show notes including pictures, links, video, and more from every episode can be found at roominthetrees.com. If you like this podcast, please consider showing your support. You can become a subscribing patron at roominthetrees.com. patreon.com/room. Speaking of Patreon, we have not kept up with our shout-outs. Some of these might be a repeat, but hopefully you don't mind. So, so much love and respect and warm happy feelings are reaching out through the expanse of time and space right now to express my sincere gratitude for Vicki Nelson, Katie Snyder, Jenny Mezzarelli, Lulu Figueroa, Trisha Leck, Jacqueline Nesbitt. Thank you so much for helping keep this podcast going. We love doing it, so thank you so much for supporting us. Please rate us on iTunes. It makes us feel good and helps us continue to do this. And we have t-shirts, folks. I did a little design design on some t-shirts, and Julia, my wonderful intern, got them up they're on our website so we have a shop now so check them out I just ordered some I'm excited to get them that is at roomofthetrees.com/shop I'm really happy with how they turned out today Trent and I just catch up on recent news we both have good news to share here it is Good afternoon.
Trenton ReynoldsGood afternoon. Can I tell you a little situation that's developing here in the garage studio?
Sabrina Ward HarrisonAbsolutely.
Trenton ReynoldsFor the past couple days, I've been noticing a gradual increase in the number of flies. Namely, I mean, there's never really been any flies in here. and I noticed one a few days ago I noticed one that was kind of you know bugging me persistent you would would fly by every once in a while but just over the past couple days I've noticed that like then it became two little flies and then you know just a little frightened so I know they like fast
Sabrina Ward Harrisonmoving flies are they kind of that like low hovering just kind of like there's
Trenton Reynoldsgoing on kind of fly. They're low hovering and if you catch them while they're resting they don't put up much of a fight right? You can just poke them and they're gone. They're not very swift. They're not your average like summer fly. You're having a summer fly. But I have, there's a bush right outside the garage, and I have had it happen before where a rat crawled in through a little gap in the garage door and got stuck under a little bit of carpet and died. Shoot. Yep, yep, yep. So I didn't actually know that that had happened until it started. smelling really bad so I worry I worry that maybe these flies have found a
Sabrina Ward Harrisonsource of food that I'm gonna smell in the next oh the smell of dead rat is comparable. Dead rat. Vivid smell.
Trenton ReynoldsVivid. There's a good word. Vivid.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonThat's disgusting.
Yep.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonTotally disgusting. Okay. What's going on in your world? Okay, one last thing about rats and garbage. I remember having to take the trash out in high school. And I remember once pulling the trash can rolling trash can out and a rat got out of the it came out through the top of the thing and ran up my arm while i was pulling the i was pulling the thing behind me i can feel those nails that's so gross i'm not a fan of rodents never have been nope my sister had a pet rat. I didn't... I never got on that bandwagon. I was almost severely into guinea pigs. Severely. Yeah, like they kind of, they mated. They had more babies. The babies died in the sun. It was just...
Yeah.
Trenton ReynoldsHow did that happen?
Sabrina Ward HarrisonThey were in the sun. Oh, it's terrible. I'm terrible guilt about it. Still, the mother, they're in an aquarium. The top was off. And the glass aquarium, and they weren't in shade. The sun, and it just got too hot. And they were like pink little skin color. Yeah, it's terrible. Absolutely terrible.
Trenton ReynoldsLittle baby rodents are kind of, well, they're cute and, I don't know, almost like alien, little alien. Yes, they are. It's a weird combination of repulsive and cute at the same time.
Sabrina Ward Harrisonhelpless helpless yep I wonder when the phase is going to hit
Trenton Reynoldsso naked those little rodents are so like you get the sense you could not have a more naked animal that color that particular kind of pink and their little bit of puffiness you know I think the most naked creatures on this earth. Oh my gosh and and the translucency. Yes yes thin skin. Literally we think we have thin skin. Check out those little runas.
Sabrina Ward Harrisonof the situation wheel.
Trenton Reynolds- So you're working on the situation wheel, or is the situation wheel working on you?
Sabrina Ward Harrison- Oh, yeah, the situation wheel is working on me. yeah i so i met someone wonderful and you know that i told you but we're telling we are speaking we are we will be conversing about that um i met someone really wonderful a wonderful man named cory um you hadn't told me his name yet cory yes cory and um And we really, when we met each other, we just kind of had an instant recognition of familiar warmth and he, we both really kind of had this very striking moment. And it's taken me by storm.
Wow.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonYeah. So I will say that I did meet him through OkCupid. I'd gone on five really ho-hum brief dates with maybe five guys. and I was like, this is just, there's no way, there's just no way this is worth even uh, even spending any more time doing, going and meeting any of these guys. And I saw this new profile come up, like I hadn't been looked on it for a couple weeks and I I read this profile and I just completely resonated with what he, I'm going to read it and then we'll record it and if I have to take it out, but I think he'll be okay with me reading it. do you want to hear it? Yeah, for sure. Oh my God, do you want to hear the profile? Totally want to hear the profile. Totally want to hear the profile. Okay. But I liked how he articulated who he was, what he valued, and what he really wanted, what he wanted in a partner. So, I'm just pulling up. the screenshots of it. I'm so glad. The other thing is that he took his profile down that very evening. He's like, you have my full attention. That's really nice. Okay. About me. Tall, intuitive, resilient, great fun. Grounded but spontaneous, a warm extrovert. somewhere between about average and fit. I'm a transplant, live my entire adult life on either the east or west coast. I'm a national park hiker, a foodie, and try to lead by example. A museum and gallery wanderer, I run every day, play frisbee with strangers, devour good books, kayak, love to cook, have an established career, know who I am. Appreciate a good craft cocktail and a great wine, but not into the bar scene. Enjoy PDAs, public displays of affection, love American modernist art. Listen to music on vinyl, miss the mountains of the Pacific Northwest. I think Frank Sinatra and Jerry Garcia both deserve their own national holidays. Make great blueberry pancakes, wear my heart on my sleeve. I'm a reverent, dig vintage supper clubs, use my passport. Here's a short list of things I'm not fond of: Narcissist, bad coffee, prime time TV, chain restaurants, meetings about meetings, ambivalence, needless complexity. I've been described as the ultimate realist with a touch of hopeless romantic. I don't believe that perfect people or perfect relationships exist, but I believe that imperfect people exist. It got cut off, but it was basically, "Imperfect people can make great relationships." - Mm-hmm. - On OkCupid, we skip that first important step of initial attraction and chemistry. We get on here and try to pick people based on a shopping list of qualities and a few well-chosen pictures. then we send fragmented emails to complete strangers not knowing if anything we've seen or read is even real and only then do we actually maybe awkwardly meet based entirely on assumptions and finally see if there's actually something there that makes us want to even be interested in the first place kind of feels wrong to me and still here i am The woman I'm looking for is intelligent, affectionate, and emotionally healthy. Touch and words of affirmation would likely be her languages of love. She takes care of herself. She's height, weight, proportionate. She's passionate, quick-witted, has a sense of humor, and can communicate. She's got capital letters, great ideas and mad skills and fierce bravery and a knowing smile. Nice to have. She would love animals, freely initiate PDAs, want to explore new places, like to hear good live music someplace small and intimate, have zero or minimal tattoos, desire to wander national parks together. share long, slow kisses that last forever, and frequently impulse buy something ridiculous or incredibly delicious at the farmer's market. If this essentially describes you, all makes all kinds of sense to you, and you think I'm kind of cute, sort of interesting, and maybe you want to find out more, contact me. If not, I still wish you the best in your own search. wonderful person. And we decided, we was like, let's not message back and forth. Let's just, we talked on the phone and then we met up in person. And he's just tall and warm and
Trenton Reynolds- Can you describe a little bit of what that first meeting, you said there was an immediate response or connection you felt?
Sabrina Ward Harrison- Yeah, we met at this little restaurant called Alchemy that neither one of us had been to, but it's a great restaurant here in Madison. and we said we were going to meet for a drink, not kind of commit to a meal, and I knew he had said he was 6'4", which was like, no way. That's so exciting. And so I came in, and I saw him, and he just looked so... cozy and warm. He was wearing this little like flannel, thin flannel shirt and jeans. And he just was smiling at me. And I just was completely flustered and blushing. And he's like, he, he says he doesn't know. He didn't know if I just wanted to leave or what I was feeling. And he's like, you know, where should we sit? And we decided we'd take a seat at the back booth. And he just, he just was looking at me and he was just saying, he's like, you are so beautiful. And he said, he just kind of, we both kind of just really were looking at each other. Like I was definitely probably a little bit like, I just was a little bit in shock and...
Trenton Reynolds- In shock just at how you were attracted, shock?
Sabrina Ward Harrison- Yeah, yeah, just a sense of the warmth and, yeah. Yeah. the chemistry between us just felt like I wanted to kind of curl up beside him right away like just he just there was a sense of just um familiarity and um calm and And he's like, are you feel like I don't remember what we first started talking about. But then it was like, are you? Oh, he oh, he was telling me how he friggin built a barn, which I just. I couldn't believe he had lived in Seattle and he had, he's like, yeah, I just, he doesn't work, he works in technology, but he was like, I just really got into exploring how to do like homesteading. So I built a barn and I had goats and I had a vegetable garden and. uh so i was like you built a barn that's so hot i'm like and he's so um that was awesome and then i was telling you about my love for sweet potatoes and chicken and this was he's like yes i love sweet potatoes too he said i love when you you cook the chicken over the sweet potatoes and then you get all the chickenness i'm like did you just say chickenness he's like yeah i'm like i love that you called it chickenness get all the chickenness into the sweet potatoes yes that sounds really good and he's like do you feel like dessert are you feeling what I and I just said yes I leaned over this system and then we end up taking a picture together to document the moment and and I came home and I called my mom he called his brother in Budapest called my dad in the morning and it's been that kind of thing so of course lots of stuff comes up and fear and like am I crazy and um it's because you know you we are both real adults and we're making big you know we're trust trying to trust our our instinct and our center and kind of follow with just like all those you know all those past ways we've you know each one of us has been hurt or let down or you know and but with both having the intention of really wanting closeness so yeah He's been very, very, I haven't been, 'cause I haven't been in a relationship in a really long time, and I think I've usually kind of, because I feel very independent as an artist, and kind of control, definitely control my days, and how I spend my day working, and my environment it's a big shift for me about to so in the past I've had maybe a relationship that was at a distance like Simon was in Australia which made things as far as away as you could be so this person lives three minutes away and And also to be like, I'm going to professionally have to really stay focused and on track and deliver a large body of work. And have to kind of keep my head straight. So I kind of can't come at it from a flailing, overwhelmed 23-year-old or something.
Yeah. Right.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonAnd I really appreciate his really getting that. Sorry, I don't know why my phone is still... Just trying to turn off the sound.
Um...
Sabrina Ward Harrisonyou know, my, my lesson, my practice is to actually to speak up and say, you know, like, not say, oh, no, it's okay. But really to say, yeah, I probably should so that we can have a weekend together when normally not in partnership, and I don't have a ton of things happening here. I would just work through the weekend. And I loved it. I would work a feel like I'd had a full Saturday or if I was home in the evenings during the week, I'm always working. I don't have, obviously, children or big commitments at night. So that's a big part of my working time. I mean, I like to work during the day, but I tend to really get, I can get really into something at night. So that's really, it's kind of exciting to speak up and be that way from the very beginning. So, not pretend, I mean like, I'm just girlfriend, you know, like just be balanced.
Trenton ReynoldsThat's fantastic. I think it's interesting to think about the differences of having a relationship when you're young, you know, early 20s. versus a relationship when you're, uh, when you have more life experience, I think there are goods and bads to both, right? Sometimes, sometimes ignorance, sometimes being stupid kind of just creates a space where you can, uh, just learn together. And that's, you know, you kind of fight that battle and, and come to a, you know, similar understandings as you, as you evolve together. But it just makes for all sorts of chaos, right? But then when you get to be older, you're more mature, you have more life experience, you have more opinions, and you have things figured out a little bit more, but you're more ingrained in that worldview. So I think it makes it more difficult to compromise on... on what your idea is for your life, of what's gonna work and what's not gonna work. You have obligations professionally, obligations in kind of a shorter sense of timeline and stuff like that. So I think it's interesting to... You know, they're just different kinds of relationships.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonYeah, it's not about the drama and they're like, what's he thinking? Oh my gosh, what's going to happen next? And, you know, which I've been in that very dramatic, very, very, you know, I brought it on myself, but it's like Sabrina doesn't have that kind of capacity anymore. So, yeah. I really like, I really, you know, what I feel is like the payoff of these years really being myself and being decisively who I am and, you know, the range of becoming myself. Because I know what I value, my value system is really clear to me. I think you're drawn that then unfolds naturally where someone recognizes the same sense of a value system too which feels really exciting like oh there I could be with someone who likes to do the same things as I like to do that appreciates the same kind of value system and the same kinds of affirmation and not trying to make them say something that's really loving and encouraging, but that they just offer it and they acknowledge when you say it to them how much it means to them. Makes it feel very safe. safe.
Trenton ReynoldsNow, he mentioned a couple times in his profile that he's into public display of affection. He did. I didn't picture you as a PDA type. Are you into that?
Sabrina Ward HarrisonI love that you noticed that. I noticed that too. I really like holding hands in public. I do. I don't know to the extent he's talking about.
Trenton ReynoldsThe fact that you would bring it up a couple times makes me think that he might be suggesting something more than... than hand holding.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonWe'll have to have him on the podcast. He did mention, yeah, I think he'd be down.
Trenton ReynoldsPretty much we're getting it on in public. That's how I roll.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonMaybe in nature, I think he'd be down.
Trenton ReynoldsOh, now there's something else. A more forestly public? I think so. A community of...
Sabrina Ward HarrisonA community of room in the trees. Critters. Making a little room in the trees for a little something something.
Trenton ReynoldsA little nest. Well, he sounds like a fantastic guy and I'm just really impressed with how, I mean, how healthy it sounds, like how the way that you're talking about it and thinking about it, it's, it really sounds like there's a lot of really good communication going on and a lot of openness that that I think you know speaks well of him yeah so well thank you happy for you and and certainly hope hope uh he treats you right yeah when you saw him one more question when you saw him that first time or when it started becoming apparent that there was there was this resonance. Was there a song or is there a song that you can think of that you would say describes or encapsulates that moment?
Sabrina Ward HarrisonOh my gosh, that's a question I of course was not expecting, and I'm just going to answer with what totally came to mind. But I would say it's Peter Gabriel In Your Eyes. I'm saying, which I love that song.
Trenton Reynolds- The light, the heat. - Yes. - The love complete.
Sabrina Ward Harrison- In your eyes. Oh yeah. I think so. I think so. We have similar eyes because they're similarly quite round and very expressive, which I think we both really pick up on. And that's been kind of a funny aspect because I'm really reading his expression with his eyes and he's reading mine and both of us can't see our own eyes. So we're not realizing we're being quite so expressive and terrified.
Trenton ReynoldsI picture you guys. I picture this very intense conversation happening. only an I expression.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonWe should do that. That kind of terrified me. What? What do you mean?
Okay. I misunderstood.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonI had a thought about us and the news. I think we should talk about the exciting developments because people have been listening and been along the journey. me hear as far as you closing down your studio that you had. And I think we need to kind of update with the great news and talk a little bit about that.
Trenton ReynoldsSounds good. I could actually use just some conversation about it, because I'm trying to sort it out in my mind. There's a lot to think about and a lot of different forces at play. So I moved out of the previous studio I was in after the six-month lease was up. I hadn't been able to figure out how to make it work financially. The rent was really steep. It was a little over $4 a square foot. And it was a 700 square foot space. And it was just stressful. It was stressful to try to come up with that money every month and it was stressful to try to market and find people who could-- come in and um but over the course of that six months i and over the course of uh you know marketing the space and trying to get other people in there i met i don't know probably three or four people that really you know were on the same wavelength as as me they would come in and just meet you could tell that they felt, it just felt like a good fit, you know, so. - Yeah. - So after I closed the last studio, the three or four of us kind of stayed in contact and we all agreed that if, we keep our eyes open, but none of us were really actively looking for a new space. And then I came across the space through a co-teacher at Meredith. She passed a number along to me, and it was an awesome opportunity, awesome space. That didn't end up working out, but I brought in some of these other people to look at this space. And when that didn't work out, then this friend whose name is Yumi, she decided that she wanted to be a little bit more deliberate about looking for a space. And so she started actually looking through advertisements and talking to friends. and going to actually look at spaces. And she found a space which is right across the street from where the last studio was, which is kind of amazing. Because what I was paying over $4 a square foot, the new space is $1.80 a square foot, which is less than half, obviously. per square foot. It's a 3,000 square foot space, which is the catch, right? So the rent is still very high. - Right. - But because the per square foot rate is so low, it actually is, I think, a much different situation than the last studio was.
Right.
Trenton ReynoldsSo because it's so big, we can have permanent, permanent residents there, you know, permanent people with permanent studios and also have enough room left over to have events and workshops and podcasts. public work area and stuff like that. So that's kind of where we're at. She signed the lease and that was one of the biggest deals is I just am not in a position financially and especially after the last studio to take on that, to sign a lease. Right. And so she was willing to do that and then we have another guy that was teaching classes at my last studio who is going to make the space his permanent studio space. And then another guy. Who's that? His name is David Lloyd. Oh, David. Yeah, he was on the podcast. Yeah. So David is one of those people that it just, you know, he felt like I had known him forever, you know, just a very cool guy that's just... you know, get along with really well. So, yeah, so he's going to move into the space and make it his permanent studio space and teach workshops out of there. I'm going to move in and use it as a studio space and place to teach workshops out of. And then Yumi and then one more person is looking at the space. Wow. But we're moving in in... I think Yumi is getting the keys tomorrow. The space will be ready for us at the beginning of April. So April 1st is the first day.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonCan you text me pictures right now so I have a visual while we're talking about it?
Trenton ReynoldsYes, let me see. Is that possible? Yeah.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonI think so. Wow.
Yeah.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonWow. It's like a huge gallery. Oh, my God.
Trenton ReynoldsWe're going to move some walls around, and the plugs are all kind of mid-wall because the previous tenant needed their restorations. some kind of electronics equipment in there. So we're gonna take the plugs all the way to the ground. And so there's still quite a bit of upgrading that needs to happen and the bathroom isn't installed yet.
Sabrina Ward Harrison- I love that there's, it's also wood too. Is that wood ceiling?
Uh-huh.
Trenton ReynoldsThat's nice. Yeah. And at the tallest, I think probably the third picture that you got, you see how it slants up. Yeah. At the tallest, I think we measured it's like 15 feet or something like that. Wow. Anyway, really wonderful tall ceilings. They've agreed to let us put in two skylights in the middle of the space. That's incredible. So that's great. Yeah. We've got two huge garage doors that open and shut on both sides so you can get a nice cross breeze and three different entries like door Smaller door. I want to move in there. Oh my gosh. It's really it's really a cool space. I'm really excited about such a
Sabrina Ward Harrisonanswered prayer for sure.
Trenton ReynoldsWell, here's the deal, though, is that I am... This is where my heart is. The space is ideal. There's four parking spaces that we get with it. Everything. Everything we could possibly want. This is perfect. The lighting's great, the ceilings are high, the power is great, it's two blocks away from the cable provider, and just on and on. Like, it's everything. But, I am not at a place where that can be a priority.
Sabrina Ward Harrisonlike you know
Trenton Reynoldslike the financial realities especially after the last studio space it just really set us back a lot so I've been applying to teaching jobs and looking for other opportunities and taking on some freelance video editing and animation stuff. Anyway, so I guess I'm at this kind of interesting place or kind of an intersection where this thing really does feel like a big step forward and closer to something that... you know, would be a dream, but there still is no obvious evidence that that is going to be, like, that I'm going to make money doing it. I have faith that it is and that the money is there, and ultimately that... that it would be something that I could provide for my family with, but it certainly has, I have no proof from previous experience that that's the case. And we're just, you know, in a really tight situation financially already. So, you know, I've got some teaching applications in. And if I get one of these teaching jobs, then I don't know that I can... spend much time developing this other thing or you know anyway i just have that's complex it is complex and you know just a lot of different forces you know like i know laura's kind of got mixed feelings about it all of course she wants me to to pursue this and you know she's been with me all long and but she's also here with me just you know having a rough time at it you know all these different things to consider yeah don't know so I'm a little bit torn at the moment I I I want to throw caution to the wind and just believe that if I follow this to the end that ultimately it will bear fruit but I have failed so many times you know I don't think I'm gonna keep this in the podcast but I've failed I've failed to make this thing fly so many times that
it just
Trenton Reynoldsit's a moment of it's kind of a faith crisis i guess you know like
Sabrina Ward Harrisonyeah faith crisis that's a good phrase i mean sucky but it's you know i know that feeling faith crisis as well um can i share why i thought i want to ask you about this sure my little epiphany i had not knowing any of the things you were feeling at that moment. But I was thinking last night about it's not expensive to fly to Los Angeles. There's many people that would be able to come from the Bay Area, from Los Angeles. I get asked all the time. It very well could be something that is doable for us. if the space felt like that might be. That's why I was curious to see it. And I would love to teach one with you. I would love to lead one with you. I think we would be great. Just like we talked about the idea the first time we talked about it, about doing it up at the farm. This could be something that's more realistic for you and your family and your dynamic. Yeah. and more streamlined and it isn't difficult for me to get to Los Angeles and I do need to I do really want to be seeing my mom more have I told you about you me you have but I don't know what
Trenton Reynoldsyou're going to refer to right now uh so when she first came to the space I told her that I had a podcast and that she and I showed her one of your books and and because she had shown me her work and told me what she was interested in and just sound like it you know she's a she would be really interested in your work. So she looked at it, she loved it, and went home and binge listened to all the episodes that we had done so far, and she's been listening ever since. And just felt a kinship with what we talk about and what I, the vision I explained to her on the first day. She's one of those people that just, I felt this, you know this connection with and felt like i was supposed to meet her but she's the one that's that signed the lease and she was interested in building this thing that that we had talked about originally and what we have been talking about on the podcast so i you know i don't i don't think it's that's exciting it is it is and she has i've been very open with her that you know if i get one of these full-time teaching jobs it's going to become much more difficult to do it and i'm going to be able to do it and i'm going to be able to do it and for me to participate and give very much time. And she's been very, just extremely, unreasonably generous, you know, saying that she is more interested in building, like, this healthy community, and she's not interested in trying to just rush and get a bunch of people in there to help pay rent. She wants to do it the right way. Anyway, that's part of the angst I'm feeling, though, is like... this just feels so like too good to be true. And, um, yeah, that there is just something, this thing that's been coalescing for a while is, is really starting to take shape. but I don't know I but maybe that's how it has to happen though those extremes have to be present
Sabrina Ward Harrisonyou know that's exactly and similar to my feeling with meeting Corey I'm like whoa this is exactly what I really really wanted and feel ready for and then oh my gosh is it you know there's like stepping into it and i think for you too with because there's been so much stress and doubt and stuff that it when moments do happen you can't you know so i don't know and be god i've stepped right up to it into it but it's does it feel like the space would be conducive to something like a group of people
Trenton Reynoldsoh yeah i'm gonna send you the floor plan real quick because i of course immediately started making diagrams nice as i uh as i do container little container yep little container It's pretty rad. So it is right nearby Brigham Mount Station, which is a big gallery area. It's close to the train. Parking on evenings and weekends is plentiful. It's a business area. So after business hours, it's just parking all over the place. And Yeah, it's a cool place.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonAnd it's not far from the beach. No, not at all.
Trenton ReynoldsIt's probably about, let's see, what is that? It's probably about two miles to the beach.
Sabrina Ward HarrisonI wonder if we thought about offering something in July, perhaps.
Trenton Reynoldssure are you up for that
uh huh
Trenton Reynoldsso you heard it room in the trees Los Angeles later this year and of course you will be invited that would be awesome so more information to come soon when we can work out the details once again thanks for listening i'm very glad you do i know for me it's heartening to share successes and failures with you all because because i know you guys get it we got this you got this this week you got this it's a faith crisis week and you still got this. And now go and do.