WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:01:23.900 It is September 29th, 2016. This is Room in the Trees, a podcast about stepping into the arena and the bow to Brene Brown. The following was recorded on September 15th, 2016. This is episode 22, A Bow to Brene. Room in the Trees is hosted by Trent Reynolds and me, Sabrina Harrison. Show notes including pictures, links, video, and more for every episode can be found at roominthetrees.com. And if you're enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to rate us on iTunes. It's easy to get to. You just go to roominthetrees.com/itunes. And if you cannot wait to give us five bucks to keep doing this every week, it'd be really cool. It would really help us a lot. It's a lot of work to do this. You can go to patreon.com/room and subscribe and you'll get special like additional content and little extra bits on occasion. We really really appreciate your support. And now we're gonna hear Brene. No we're not. We're not gonna hear Brene. We're gonna talk about Brene. 00:01:23.900 --> 00:02:46.280 Well the story goes something like you sent me a link to one of Brene Brown's. It wasn't a TED talk. It wasn't the TED talk that first got her attention. It was the 99 Designs or something like that. And when I watched the video, it was like she ticked off every bullet point that we tend to go over and over again. in our conversations here on the podcast. And she did it in such an eloquent and succinct way. And she's cute and she's got great energy and she comes across so authentic and honest and open. She's just a real person. That is what got us talking about having an episode in response to that. And it felt like the more we talked about it, the more it just made sense to include the videos in the show notes and let her speak for herself because she does, she does an excellent job at it. Yeah. So in this episode, we talk a little bit about it and we share some quotes, but our assumption is, and our desire for this episode is that you'll just Go enjoy the videos of her TED Talk and her other talk that we'll include and appreciate her as much as we do. 00:02:46.860 --> 00:03:19.000 Last week I downloaded Rising Strong, her latest book, and I literally have listened to it twice. day and night for probably well i basically i the first time i listened to it i went to bed turned it on and it was eight it's eight hours of audio and i woke up and it had just ended so i think subconsciously it just started seeping into my soul and started making everything better and then i went on to listen to it during the my awake hours and while walking the dogs and working here in the studio. 00:03:19.480 --> 00:03:44.680 I think our listeners don't know this about you, and I didn't either until back when we built the Room in the Trees. You obsessively listen to... to lectures and talks and, like... of people who inspire you. Like you gave me a CD with some lectures. 00:03:44.680 --> 00:03:47.700 Yeah, Joseph Campbell and Alan Watts, I think, right? 00:03:49.180 --> 00:03:57.020 John O'Donohue? John O'Donohue, exactly. And somebody, Knight? Oh, Robert, David White. 00:03:57.020 --> 00:03:57.700 David White. 00:03:57.700 --> 00:04:21.300 David White. Yeah, not Knight. But he should be a Knight. Yes. And he should be a Knight. And these were CDs that were well, well used. I was startled that they still could play in a CD player. Yeah. Anyway, I thought that would be worth sharing. It's like, you really get into these. 00:04:21.660 --> 00:04:57.720 Well, I know. And I was picturing, because you remember me talking about the little Maz Miata and driving down the coast. Those were the tapes when I listened to them. Those CDs were in the car with me and my little Sony disc band, so. Yeah. Yeah, very well loved. And if anyone's listening who's taken any of my workshops knows, I love playing those four people. There's a lot of lying down listening that happens. So yes, Renee just kills it. She's incredible. She's incredible. 00:04:58.460 --> 00:04:59.100 And... 00:04:59.100 --> 00:05:19.460 And her book is read by herself, right? Yeah, so it's even more fun because she just has this kick-ass way about just telling it like it is with so much intelligence. And, you know, it was like a ventilating experience. 00:05:20.400 --> 00:05:21.000 Yeah. 00:05:21.000 --> 00:05:55.880 She opens the windows to conversations and storytelling around the feelings of vulnerability. So I wish I had had her talking and her voice in her books back when I made Spilling Open. It was such a vulnerable experience to do that. And it just feels incredible to hear her speak into those feelings. Yeah. I could relate so much to. So she starts off and she gets the title for the book from this fantastic Theodore Roosevelt quote. 00:05:57.200 --> 00:06:48.480 Why don't I read that quote? Okay, here it is. It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs, who comes short again and again because there is no effort without error and shortcoming. but who does actually strive to do the deeds, who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat. 00:06:49.300 --> 00:06:49.800 Yes. 00:06:49.800 --> 00:06:59.240 yeah the credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena and now today's episode 00:06:59.240 --> 00:07:19.540 you have a good weekend i did i started my book yes you did I just started and I was kind of thinking about what we're going to talk about about stepping into the arena just gotta step in just step one toe in 00:07:19.540 --> 00:07:28.440 and previously with previous books have you announced that you were beginning or do people not know until you're done with the book that you are have been working on? 00:07:28.680 --> 00:07:37.940 Well, due to the social media reality of our world these days, it has changed significantly because there's this immediacy of... 00:07:41.140 --> 00:08:00.160 Well, it seemed like, though, in your post, and I thought it was wonderful the way that you announced it in the page that you... the picture you published. It seems like that... you're gonna make this a part of the creative process. It didn't seem like you did that in a like, you know, marketing. 00:08:02.260 --> 00:08:07.280 It felt like an authentic thing. It didn't think like you were just trying to drum up people's interest in, you know, whatever. 00:08:07.920 --> 00:08:19.140 No, because it's a long way out. It's like, it's not like, I have a new, I just did a new book. It was, check it out in two weeks. Like, it's like, it's definitely like a year long, you know, it takes about a year to make a book. 00:08:20.280 --> 00:08:34.620 Yeah. Anyway, it got me excited. Yeah. And you'd like part of the process, or at least be a witness of the, the, the process a little bit rather than just kind of having you come out with a book and say, I just finished a book. 00:08:35.080 --> 00:10:50.000 I know. I feel like I want to bring that to room in the trees too. I think it'd be a nice weekly, a little mini update kind of, because it all that, all the stuff we talk about on here is, is magnified, you know, when you're doing something, um, like this and it doesn't, it never feels like it brings up your, your, your, biggest, the biggest critical voices and then the other voices of like, like when last night I was working on these spreads for, um, to give to my agent today, actually I'm turning them in. And I just had that remembering that feeling of like, I do this. I, I know how to, I really like, I really like, um, laying up of pages. I just, I think it's a very satisfying graphic, graphic, um, graphic design kind of, it just stirs this satisfaction in me versus an, like an original piece of artwork. It's so much more satisfying to put it into a shape that it's juxtaposed against something. and choosing the imagery that goes with the words. It almost feels like it's alchemy or something. It just feels like that's exactly right. That works, it's yes. And it's never really planned. And then it's never planned like I'm gonna do this art, it's gonna go with this. I think of how many spreads in all the books it's like. hundreds of them and never one did I do a piece of art intentionally to go with another piece of art now that I think about it and that's the most fun part of it so that was a great reminder and again kind of going back to a conversation that we had the "just do it" conversation about you know what I went initially went to school for and was so drawn to that graphic design combining words and imagery together to communicate a message and evoke a feeling of connection just to be back in my element of that just It's very clarifying to me. 00:10:52.940 --> 00:12:21.700 - Listening to you talk right there, I was reminded of something in one of the Brene Brown videos that we watched, and we'll post them all in the show notes so people can watch them. But one of the things that she talks about is who we are saving a seat for. Who is the audience that we are aware is there watching us, observing us, critiquing us, and something like that? and one of the people she says you need to reserve a seat for is yourself, and I thought that was kind of an interesting thing to think of in relation to some of our previous conversations. I feel like, to some degree, you have not in the past given yourself... permission to be there as an observer and appreciator of what you've done. It feels like that in this moment, when you publish this on social media and you're owning that you started a new book, you're starting this process, I think that's part of my warm, fuzzy feeling when I saw that is like, I feel like you are giving yourself a seat that And as well as being in the arena, you're giving yourself permission to be an observer as well and say, you know, this is something that is wonderful. And I'm creating something that people value and that you're like allowing yourself to own that and observe it and appreciate it and value it just like all the other people sitting, you know, in their seats are. 00:12:22.200 --> 00:12:28.720 Thank you. It makes me a bit teary. That really means a lot. Thank you. That's true. That's true. 00:12:29.360 --> 00:12:29.960 That's true. 00:12:32.100 --> 00:12:36.280 And that's wonderful to see for me too. 00:12:37.000 --> 00:14:22.680 It felt like that the way you start something that's going to take so long and that I've done it before, like I'm going to love this book at the end of it. I'm going to love what I put out there. And so the critical voices... Excuse me the critical voices in my head. What a waste like I was looking at the first things I'm going this is gonna be this is gonna be beautiful and it let the let the doubt and the Critical go there's no use for it. I think what it is like, I trust my critical, I think a critical eye is really important, especially as an artist in design. You have to trust your critical eye, right? You have to trust your sense of knowing when something works, right? And that's a great, one of the things we love about art, making art, is that feeling of when it, that moment when it clicks into place. and we kind of live for those moments. Well, I guess it's just sort of what you said, just re-saying what you said. I think just simplify things, like step out of your own way. Just do it. Just name what you're doing. Be proud of it. Just make it. This is my Monday morning talk to myself. I mean, I think I was thinking about talking to you a little bit about like, we've never talked on a Monday morning, but I definitely deal with Monday morning, stepping back into the arena. You know, it's Monday. You wake up, you're like, and this is what I do. This is how I try to make a living. and you're inventing your way through every single day. So how does that, does that reach, what's your Monday morning stepping into the arena feeling? 00:14:24.900 --> 00:14:39.000 Very similar to that is like, it's definitely a gearing up for trying to get the engine back, back up and running, get the momentum going, you know, warming up. And, and just kind of check in. 00:14:39.020 --> 00:14:40.640 And how does that happen? What does that? 00:14:41.320 --> 00:15:17.200 I'm envisioning kind of like the, what I imagine a pilot goes through when they're turning on the airplane, like checking about, you know, a million buttons and switches and levers, you know, making sure. all the knobs are correctly aligned and you know all the different measurements are in in the right places I don't know what does that look like it looks like me coming into the studio space sitting down at my computer and turning knobs and switches and yeah about the same it's me looking at my computer 00:15:17.200 --> 00:15:27.840 And is there any way to do you think of changing like do you think you could to come in start ever start and just do a bit of art first? 00:15:28.380 --> 00:16:38.560 Well, I think I need to figure out or at least be a little bit more intentional about how I go about my days and maybe choreograph it a little bit more, be a little bit more aware of my moods at different times of days or on different days of the week and capitalize on those times when I know I'm gonna have more energy or more motivation and use those times as, instead of relegating my art making and creative time to a time when I know I'm just gonna be drained and not have any like, desire or power. Instead, give myself the times when I know I'm going to have more, you know, momentum and energy. Give those times to my creative efforts. And so, yeah, no, absolutely. I think it would be wonderful instead of coming in here and just like starting off the week stressed about everything I need to get done. Yeah. Instead, just like starting off the week by taking, you know, the first half of half of Monday to just really dig into my creative efforts. 00:16:39.440 --> 00:16:48.180 I think that would be really interesting to see because then it also gets you back home to why you're doing what you're doing, what you believe in. 00:16:50.180 --> 00:16:50.700 And 00:16:50.700 --> 00:16:53.700 It kind of reminds you of yourself. 00:16:53.700 --> 00:17:29.100 - That's what I feel like I'm missing. You said it right there, is like, what is this all about? And I do think that you give your best to the thing that you care about most, I guess. And right now I don't feel like I'm giving my best to the thing I care about most. And that sets the tone of everything I do. and it offsets, it kind of makes things imbalanced and makes me realize that, you know, I'm putting all this time and effort into things that clearly are not the point. I don't know. 00:17:29.100 --> 00:17:34.400 - What is the point? What does the point, what are some of the things that the point feels like? 00:17:34.400 --> 00:18:14.560 Well, the point feels like sharing an authentic and honest expression of my own expression. It's sharing my truth with the world, with my audience, whoever I come into contact with daily. And as secondary to that is helping others to do the same. So I think right now I am not, I guess maybe I'm even starting with like helping others do the expression. And that somehow becomes a little bit hollow when I'm not doing it myself. 00:18:15.120 --> 00:18:15.620 Yeah. 00:18:19.200 --> 00:18:36.300 like when I'm not actually taking the time to practice what I preach, you know, I think that's, that is like a fundamental truth I think we all can sense of the hypocrisy of, of saying one thing and doing another. 00:18:36.800 --> 00:19:24.240 and it is interesting how time can kind of shrink and expand like i know you wrestle with all this and you're doing an amazing job with all this time management you know incredibly has to be incredibly choreographed to do all the things you're doing um but the way that time can you know 10 minutes, 15, 20 minutes of really getting in, you know, getting into your work. And it's hard. I know it's hard to do that, but it's like there's that line. Someone said to me, it's hard losing weight, but it's also hard being overweight. So it's like pick one or the other, you know, like it's hard to drop into the work, but it's also hard to not do the work. 00:19:24.920 --> 00:19:25.420 Yeah. 00:19:25.400 --> 00:20:25.240 well as as we're talking now it's it's kind of hitting me that i i don't have a whole lot of time to devote to any one thing you know there's just a reality i've got three kids i've got the you know responsibilities in a lot of different areas and i've chosen and i own those those decisions you know to do those things. But what I do have a certain amount of flexibility are on like which hours of the day, what times I'm giving to these different responsibilities. And I'm realizing that just like you said, if I have 10 minutes, well, I do have 10 minutes. I know that. But am I going to give 10 minutes to my artwork that's at the end of the day after I've been really stressed and all I want to do is go home and veg out? Or am I going to give the 10 minutes of my day that is first thing in the morning? And my mind's fresh and I'm still feeling optimistic about life. 00:20:25.320 --> 00:20:25.820 Yeah. 00:20:25.700 --> 00:20:54.000 I do have a tremendous amount of control over which chunks of time I allocate to which activities and activities. I think I could do a better job about that and it would make a big difference. So we haven't really talked about, I think this is all stuff that we can include in the podcast. Absolutely. Do you want to introduce Brene Brown more like formally? 00:20:54.800 --> 00:22:41.200 I've just... dove in head first last week into Rising Strong, her latest book. I got it on audio, on Audible. And she's a researcher who studies shame and vulnerability. And, um, This is one, this is her manifest, this is on her website. There's downloads that you can print out. I think that was probably in high demand. Like, she's so intelligent that you feel, I've never been so aware of listening to something that resonates so strongly and then completely cannot remember what she said, how she said it, when I want to tell someone about it. That's a mark of someone's just, she's nailing it so beautifully. So I'll read the Manifesto of the Brave and Brokenhearted. There is no greater threat to the critics and cynics and fear mongers than those of us who are willing to fall because we have learned how to rise. With skinned knees and bruised hearts, we choose owning our stories of struggle over hiding, over hustling, over pretending. When we deny our stories, they define us. When we run from struggle, we are never free. So we turn towards truth and look it in the eye. We will not be characters in our stories, not villains, not victims, not even heroes. We are the authors of our lives. We write our own daring endings. We craft love from heartbreak, compassion from shame, grace from disappointment, courage from failure. Showing up is our power. Story is our way home. Truth is our song. We are the brave and brokenhearted. We are rising strong. 00:22:42.100 --> 00:22:44.260 I think we just end there. 00:22:44.880 --> 00:22:45.380 Yeah. 00:22:45.140 --> 00:23:26.480 I do want to say to our audience that, you know, we are here having this conversation because we believe these things and we believe in the power of creativity and the power of each individual out there. And I don't know, I feel this desire to just express confidence in and love for the people that are listening to this podcast. Yeah. And as you start your week, believe that you have a voice, believe that you have a truth to be spoken, and that you are worthy of admiration and love and appreciation. And get out there and do it. 00:23:27.800 --> 00:23:34.800 Perfect. I think that is really good, Trent. 00:23:34.800 --> 00:24:12.320 And that's it for this week. Thanks for listening. And thank you to Brené Brown for existing. As usual, you can find show notes at roominthetrees.com. Please take a moment to review us on iTunes. If you've been enjoying the podcast, you can get there by going to roominthetrees.com backslash iTunes. And you can become a patron, and we'd really appreciate your support by subscribing at patreon.com backslash room. 00:24:14.700 --> 00:24:33.260 Join us next week for an interview that I am looking forward to sharing with you. And in the meantime, you've got some reading to do. You've got some listening to do. Go seek out Brene Brown and get yourself in the arena. 00:25:02.400 --> 00:25:04.460 you 00:25:24.900 --> 00:25:26.960 you 00:25:47.400 --> 00:25:49.460 you 00:26:09.900 --> 00:26:11.960 you 00:26:32.400 --> 00:26:34.460 you 00:26:54.900 --> 00:26:56.960 you 00:27:17.400 --> 00:27:19.460 you 00:27:39.900 --> 00:27:41.960 you 00:28:02.400 --> 00:28:04.460 you 00:28:24.900 --> 00:28:26.960 you