WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:19.600 what's the date trip it is tuesday august 23rd 2016 this is room in the trees a podcast about oh 00:00:19.600 --> 00:00:28.420 Oh come on, sorry I wasn't prepared to be the um... The hills of perspective. 00:00:28.420 --> 00:00:30.600 Okay. 00:00:30.600 --> 00:00:39.040 That was easy. The following was recorded today. 00:00:39.740 --> 00:00:42.560 Just now. Just now. Right now. 00:00:43.640 --> 00:00:47.320 It's recording right now. This is it, right? This is it. 00:00:47.480 --> 00:02:23.140 And this is episode 17. Know This, part two. Room in the Trees is hosted by Trent Reynolds, me, and me, Sabrina. Show notes, including pictures, links, video, and more for every episode can be found on roominthetrees.com. If you are enjoying this podcast, please take a moment to rate us on iTunes. You can also support us by subscribing at patreon.com backslash room. And let's get to what the episode is today. We had a conversation earlier this week that we recorded, and we're just at the tail end of talking for another hour or so about... this challenge that was issued last week by one of our listeners of sharing what it is we know. And we have had two fantastic conversations where I really feel like a lot of great things were said. I'm just having a hard time. I think we both are. consolidating that into something that would work well sharing with this larger audience. So I wanted to say some things that I've gotten from our two conversations and you can tell me what you think and if you agree or disagree. And then I thought we'd just have you read a couple, quotes from some of your books and leave it at that. Does that sound okay? 00:02:23.300 --> 00:02:32.120 That sounds wonderful. What's the most interesting thing you learned that was interesting to you as a person in the world right now and where you're at in your life? 00:02:32.700 --> 00:03:40.700 Well, the thing that I still find myself returning to after our conversations is this idea that that the person you were when you wrote "Spilling Open" was complete. It was all there. Like, you were-- you were-- all those ideas, those truths, those intuitions, it was a complete you. and that that person is still who you are today. So the question was asked, what do you know now that's different than what you wrote in "Spilling Open" or how have things changed? And I don't think it has changed very much. I think you were complete in that moment. And it's just been like we talked about, that was a seed that has grown and become more expansive, more alive, more nuanced and experienced. But essentially the core of what existed then is the same as what you are now. And that's kind of, it's surprising and also obvious to me that that would be the case. What part of it was surprising? 00:03:41.080 --> 00:03:41.600 Yeah. 00:03:41.600 --> 00:03:47.600 Surprising that you could be so complete at such a young age. 00:03:47.600 --> 00:03:51.600 Even though there are so many questions in the book? 00:03:51.600 --> 00:04:14.380 Well, I don't think that... Yeah. I don't think questions change. I think the questions are still there. Right. I think questioning is something that is an integral part of your existence and your being. you know, there are other people that don't question as much and they exist more in the realm of answers, but that's not who you are. 00:04:17.100 --> 00:04:18.180 That was easy. 00:04:21.440 --> 00:04:25.060 So with that, what would you like to say? 00:04:25.300 --> 00:05:16.240 I agree, and I was saying, I think... I'm really looking forward to reading and sharing some of this with you. It's coming up on 20 years ago I was writing these journals in my sun room in Berkeley. And I just look forward to reading some of these pages and sharing them. It's been wonderful the past week I've shared some through Etsy. It's sweet to revisit those moments and see them, see their colors and seeing those words again. It feels good and dear to me. ♪ ♪ Can you hear those waves? 00:05:18.960 --> 00:05:22.020 That is in Italy. 00:05:24.460 --> 00:05:33.780 It's a live webcam in Italy. Just throughout the day, I just listen to the waves in Italy that are waving right now. 00:05:36.200 --> 00:07:34.040 Okay, it is late, 12:48 AM in the morning, and I'm going to try to read some of these pages. I'm going to read three of them to start, but I might sound too tired. I'll try one. The great American poet Walt Whitman said there is a time we must wash the gum from our eyes and dress ourselves for the dazzle of the light. He looked at men and women struggling with their lives and said, "Long have you timidly waited, holding a plank by the shore. Now I will you to be a bold swimmer. Jump off into the midst of the sea, rise again, nod to me, shout, and laughingly dash with hair. I'm feeling rather disheveled and slightly crooked. I seem to be seeping out of the edges. I'm Sabrina Ward Harrison. I'm 21. This is my book. I often feel an overwhelming pressure to quote, have it all together. What is it? I feel young. I am young. Children's book author and artist Marie Sendak described his creative process as a descent into limbo. This describes my entire life lately. The more I look around and listen, I realize that I am not alone. We are all facing choices that define us. No choice, however messy, is without importance in the overall picture of our lives. We all at our own age have to claim something, even if it's only our own confusion. I'm in the middle of growing up and into myself. This is my book. It is my life in progress, a growing expedition. Through the tangled and unfilled in parts of understanding my life, my truth, and myself, I want to share it. Welcome inside. 00:07:37.700 --> 00:08:13.260 The basic, the angry, the sad, the lost, the wondering, the small one, the dreamer, the believer, the young, the brave, the weak, the strong, the alone, the together, the safe, the unexpected, the annoying, the insecure, the waiting, the wisher. The glowing, the understanding, the scared, the holding back, the letting go, the true and the question, the me I know and the me I don't. 00:08:15.520 --> 00:08:38.740 Belong to yourself. I've been feeling so blank and full of muted tones. I just feel sort of beige. I've been stuck in muck. Yesterday I got my hair cut so short that when I went to school, Christopher said I look like an English schoolboy. So that didn't help. My face feels wide and naked. It just looks so good in the magazine. Thank you. 00:08:43.400 --> 00:10:01.140 What I really want to say to myself is, it's all right. This right here, this mess, this. As my friend Gary says, in its own flawed way, it's all secretly perfect. these anxious questions doubts answers and waiting this is just as it is right now taking me on my way don't run we all suffer there will be understanding this is what I know to be true sooner than you think and later than you expected Study that voice inside that whispers, "Yes, I've learned more is never enough. The world waits for you." Writing a book is really hard and takes a really long time and a hell of a lot of faith. Writing is mostly about letting go and loosening the muscles of the heart. I'm learning that growing up is a mixture of surrendering to all of it, that none of it matters, and all of it matters. The details of our lives are truth. It's about what we stand up for and what we let go of. This is the real stuff. 00:10:19.800 --> 00:10:57.500 Thank you for listening. You guys are wonderful. And go read some stuff out loud from your own journal. And we will talk to you next week. Once again, show notes and some great links. We are putting up on roominthetrees.com. It would be really awesome if you would rate us or review us on iTunes or leave a comment for us to respond to on the comment section of the website. And please subscribe. If you want to buy us half a burrito by becoming a patron on patreon.com forward slash room, that would be fantastic. 00:10:58.500 --> 00:11:00.400 What kind of burrito would you have? 00:11:00.400 --> 00:11:02.360 Let me tell you exactly what I would have. 00:11:05.420 --> 00:11:07.820 Love how prepared you are with this. 00:11:08.140 --> 00:12:05.720 Okay. I would have... a real estate burrito with avocado, lime, cilantro, extra cilantro, brown rice, extra lettuce, lemon squeezed on it. Oh gosh, I don't feel, I'm not up to my, a little bit of sweet potato puree. - Come on. - I'm not up to my game. I've been off burritos for a few months, so. I saw this guy wearing a t-shirt, and I wish I took a picture of it two days ago that said tacos or death. okay